Friday, March 30, 2007

One More Movie Idea

I've been doing some more thinking lately about my whole "writing a script" thing. I was having trouble coming up with a solid plot, but I did manage to think up another decent concept. You know the old writers' axiom, "write what you know"? That hit me yesterday, and it was then I thought up the idea to write a movie inspired by the three semesters I spent in college.

Of course, I'd probably have to give the college a fake name and I'd probably have to give everyone different names just so nobody would get upset and sue me, but if I made it, I'd hope to actually film it at the school itself. But what I'm worried about is that the college might not be exactly as I remembered it. Newer buildings have been added; older buildings have been torn down. But I think that this is something that could write itself if I could think up the proper narrative. Do I do it like Van Wilder? Do I do it like Fast Times at Ridgemont High, with a story for every character? Or how about something like PCU? I know right away I can rule out doing something like Animal House or Revenge of the Nerds or anything with fraternities or sororities, since my old college doesn't allow them. (Though anyone who knew me and my crew back then could argue that the whole second floor of my dormitory was one big unofficial frat house, considering the way we all acted.) But I'm sure that if I really put myself to it, I'm sure I could knock something out.

What really grinds my gears about the whole thing is that I have a good idea for a funny scene, but I'm not sure if I'd be able to do it. See, me and my buddies once sat around the lobster tank at Wal-Mart late one night, watching this one punkass lobster pick fights with all the other lobsters. We sat there for a good fifteen, twenty minutes laughing our heads off, trying to convince the other lobsters to stop taking that one's crap. That could have been a great scene in a movie if it was pulled off right, but since I don't think Wal-Mart has lobster tanks anymore, there goes that. It also bums me out that the neighborhood's best hangouts when I was there, the local bakery and the apartment above it, were torn down a year or two ago. I'd have totally included the building in the movie, but just my luck, it's a vacant lot as far as I know.

I have to admit that the idea of writing a movie around my old stomping grounds is promising. If I did write it and eventually filmed it, I'd probably have to do it during the summer months to avoid interfering with the academic process. (That is, assuming I got permission to do it from the school in the first place.) I could even pull some strings with some old acquaintances and try drafting the campus TV and radio station's crew into service as a movie crew. But I don't want to get too far ahead of myself. I think something like this could work. I don't know for sure if it would, but it could. As always, we'll see how this goes from here.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Mission Accomplished

If you've been following the Experience for the last few days, you've seen my progress in Operation: Six Star, a quest to achieve 100,000 points in each level of Resident Evil 4's Mercenaries side-game. And folks, I can officially say that Operation: Six Star was a smashing success.

The only level I had left was the desert war zone, so I went into it alternating between my two go-to guys, Albert Wesker and Jack Krauser. I went at it for an hour, and just five minutes ago, I finally got over the six-figure hump with Krauser. Eighty-five freaks killed with a streak of 27 in a row, giving me a grand total of 105,020. Like when I beat Waterworld the other day, it came down to the last twenty seconds, inching just over the edge and hanging on for dear life. But I succeeded, and that's awesome.

So my current high scores in The Mercenaries, highest to least highest (since "lowest high score" just sounds silly):
  • The Castle: 130,270 with Wesker.
  • The Village: 111,760 with Krauser.
  • Waterworld: 105,790 with Wesker.
  • The Desert: 105,020 with Krauser.
See? I told you Wesker and Krauser are my go-to guys. Good job, boys.

And as I said yesterday, I'm almost afraid to pick up Professional Mode again. I'm so close to the end, but with the small arsenal I'm carrying, I'm pretty sure I won't get past Über-Krauser. And even if I did, who's to say I could make it through the remaining areas and the boss battle against Saddler? Sigh, sometimes I just don't know what I get myself into until I get right down in the middle of it.

But isn't that always how it is?

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Ever Closer To Six Stars

Made a little more progress on Operation: Six Star earlier. No, I didn't get that fourth six-figure score, but I got very close. Frustratingly close. So close I can taste it. I actually beat my high score in the desert level three times, scoring 93,230 and 94,740 with Krauser before topping out at 98,940 with Wesker. I took a few shots at getting higher scores, but alas, no such luck. So I figured that 98,940 was a pretty good score to call it a night with.

I'm teetering right on the edge of that fourth six star rating, and I'm sure I'll rack up 100,000 soon. You better believe I will. But I'm still wondering... what horrors await me if I try to pick up Resident Evil 4's Professional Mode again?

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

"Operation: Six Star" Continues

As noted at this time last week, I've been trying to get a score of 100,000 or higher in the Mercenaries mini-game of Resident Evil 4. "Operation: Six Star," it's been dubbed, and that's a catchy name. Anyway, I made a little progress just a little while ago, and I felt like bragging about it. :)

If you remember those posts I made about Operation: Six Star, you'll recall that I've succeeded in achieving six-digit scores in two levels and have had brushes with success with the other two. Well, I did manage to get a six-digit score in Waterworld about half an hour ago. With Wesker, I racked up 108 kills with a string of 24 in a row, for a final score of 105,790. I barely made it over the hump, and when I noticed, I had about 18 seconds until time expired. And those 18 seconds were tense! I had enough health and healing aids, but tense times like that cause poor little gamers like me to get nervous. But I lasted the 18 seconds, and ended it with the aforementioned 105,790 points.

So after getting that score, I spent half an hour trying to top 100,000 in the desert, but alas, no success there. Maybe tomorrow or some other time. But Operation: Six Star is one step closer to completion, and I'm pretty enthused about that. I'm gonna crack that last six-figure score eventually and Operation: Six Star is going to be a success, believe me.

Monday, March 26, 2007

It's About Time

I've finally finished with that triple-feature of reviews that I've been working on for forever. So for your reading enjoyment, here's my reviews of three big horror movies from this past October: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, The Grudge 2, and Saw III. So have fun reading those, and feel free to go back and read the reviews for the other movies in each of those particular franchises.

I'm so glad I've got it done, so I can move on and put more concentration into other work. I've got a few movies lined up to review sooner or later, particularly Pulse, X-Men 3, and Hollywoodland. I already have an idea of what kind of reviews I'm going to give each of those movies, so it shouldn't be too hard to write them.

But anyway, take a look at the three new reviews, and I hope you have as much fun reading them as I had writing them.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

How To Make An Inner Child Happy

Like I said yesterday, I managed to get out this afternoon and see the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, and I absolutely loved it. Sitting there in the darkened theater, watching the four reptilian ninjas, I felt like I was seven years old again. It was as if the movie was made specifically for the inner child in me that has refused to grow up or let go of the things I loved when I was younger. So yeah, I enjoyed every second of the movie.

The voice acting is great, and the animation is well done. It's not as good as what Pixar could do, but then again, what is? And although the movie leaves a few dangling plot threads, like how they don't really explain who Karai is or how she reassembled the Foot Clan, but I guess they can tie all these loose ends up in a sequel. And I'd totally go see a sequel. It's too bad they can't churn some of these movies out on an annual basis like the Saw movies.

But yeah, I think it's obvious I loved the movie. I'd gladly pay good money to see it again if I got the opportunity. The final verdict of me and my inner child is that TMNT gets a solid four stars out of five, and it'll be a definite purchase as soon as it comes out on DVD.

Friday, March 23, 2007

The Hills Have Lame Movies

Me and my dad went and saw the 7:00 showing of The Hills Have Eyes 2 last night, and maybe we should have seen 300 instead. I thought it was lame, lame, a million times lame.

I liked the remake a lot. I wouldn't have given it a good review if I didn't. But this sequel isn't even half as good as its predecessor. None of the actors hold my interest; the script is so awful, I wasn't even sure what the names of the characters were; and the direction is horrendous. I don't know who the director is, but I hope he never gets any work again. He apparently can't grasp the simple concept of just sitting the camera and one spot and letting the action happen. Every time there was an action sequence, the camera was shaking around all over the place like it was being operated by someone with Parkinson's disease in the middle of an earthquake. If I wanted to see the camera shaking around, I'd watch The Blair Witch Project instead. I'm going to give Hills Have Eyes 2 two stars and hope that I appreciate it more once I rent the DVD and review it for S@TM. I say that because I'm hoping that the bad mood I was in while watching the movie. You may be asking, "Why were you in a bad mood?" Here's why.

I was sitting by a group of about seven teenage girls that just wouldn't shut up. Talking to each other, giggling, answering cell phone calls, even mocking one character because he had a lisp. I'll admit that I've talked in theaters before, but I have enough respect for everybody else to keep it to a whisper when I do. I'd also have the common damn courtesy to turn off my cell phone if I had one. But no, they didn't give a crap. I'd be surprised if any of these girls were old enough to get in, which is surprising because I got carded when I bought the tickets and you'd be stupid to think I look underage. Next time I go see a movie on a Friday night, I'm gonna swing by Thor's house and see if I can borrow Mjolnir, because those punkass hooligans are going to be catching beatdowns right and left!

But after that crappy movie, things are going to be looking up during the rest of the weekend. I bought Mick Foley's new book at Wal-Mart after seeing Hills Have Eyes 2, and I've go plans to see the new Ninja Turtles movie sometime tomorrow afternoon. And I'm so looking forward to both. I still need to finish Cell too, since it's due back to the library on Wednesday and I'm only halfway through. I might have to check it out again, since I want to see this book all the way through to the end. But I've got TMNT tomorrow, two books to read, and a review to write, so this weekend shouldn't be boring.

Cowabunga!

I mentioned a while back that I was still aiming to finish those three reviews I started back in January. And I can finally say there's been some progress on that third one. I got the DVD from Netflix yesterday, and I should have it done within the next few weeks. I've had the other two finished for at least a month now, so I'll be happy when I can finally get them posted and out there for the world to see.

But in the meantime, I do have a new review for everybody to check out. Since the new CGI-animated Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie came out today, I figured I'd do my part to promote it in some way. So submitted for your approval, here's my review for the very first live-action Ninja Turtles movie. Can you believe that the seventeenth anniversary of this movie's release is a week from today? And don't you worry, I should have reviews of the second and third Ninja Turtles movies done sometime in the future. Maybe when the new one comes out on DVD?

And since The Hills Have Eyes 2 hits theaters today too, you can also check out my reviews for last year's Hills Have Eyes movie and Wes Craven's 1977 original. Have fun reading.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

D'oh!

There's a story on the front cover of this week's issue of the local newspaper about how there are sixteen towns vying for the chance to host the world premiere of The Simpsons Movie, all of them named Springfield. And one of the Springfields in the running is only twelve miles from Casa de Sutton.

Nothing is official, nor are there any guarantees that Kentucky's Springfield will even be selected, but I can't say that I'm not a little excited. I'm a fan of The Simpsons and I've been anticipating the movie since it was first announced, but the idea that the movie's big premiere could be right in my backyard has got me looking forward to it even more. The catch is, Washington County doesn't have a movie theater. So apparently, the leading candidate to host this big soiree is a little place called the Opera House. I've never been in the Opera House before, but I hear it's kinda little. If they want a big turnout from the community, I think it'd be a good idea for them to put a big screen and speaker system up on the high school's football field, and stick the projector in the field's press box. I'm sure there'd be a huge crowd for it, if that's what they want from it. But they haven't even announced where it'll be yet, so maybe I'm thinking too far ahead.

Even if we don't get the premiere, I'm still happy that Washington County was at least considered for the opportunity. I mean, how often does a little town in the middle of nowhere get the chance to experience a bit of Hollywood?

Takashi Miike Has To Be Crazy

I was doing some channel surfing the other day, and ended up discovering that we get the Sundance Channel here at Casa de Sutton. I was kinda surprised to find that out, since we're subscribed to the Starz channel package, not the Showtime package. But we've got the Sundance Channel anyway, and I have to admit that I've never really had the desire to watch it before. They rarely air any programming that I'd be interested in watching, and when they did, I couldn't watch because we didn't get the channel. And I was happy with IFC, since they occasionally show something that I'd like to see. Stuff like Monster, O Brother, Where Art Thou?, Ed Wood, May, Greg the Bunny, things like that. But after idly flipping through the channels two hours ago, I ended up on the Sundance Channel watching a movie that I hadn't seen in quite a while: Takashi Miike's Audition. The movie just ended, and it's got me in a posting mood.

I haven't seen Audition since right around Christmas in 2005, but it's just as crazy as I remember it being. Everything about it is just... I don't exactly know what word I'm looking for, but it's a very surprising movie. What gets me is that it starts out almost like a romantic during the first act, gets a little off-putting during the second act, then it goes and punches a one-way ticket to Crazytown during the third act. It's definitely a movie that will catch people off guard if they're watching it for the first time and don't know what to expect. And it still managed to work me around, and this is the second time I've seen it.

I probably can't say anything without repeating what I said in the post I wrote way back when. Audition is an amazing, amazing movie, and I can't say enough good things about it. I'm just amazed that I don't own the DVD yet. It'd make a great addition to my foreign horror DVD collection, but I haven't bought it yet. That's going on my "To Do" list.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The Quest For 100,000: Chapter Two

So in the further adventures of Sutton's Quest For 100,000, I actually made a bit of headway. After maybe a dozen attempts, I got ever so close to that elusive number with a score of 92,770 in the desert with Krauser. I couldn't top it after several more attempts, so I decided to move on to the Waterworld. This one was far trickier, as after numerous attempts with both Wesker and Krauser, I couldn't get any higher than 85,000.

So as it stands right now, my high scores are the 92,770 points I scored in the desert, and my previous high scores of 111,760 in the village, 130,270 in the castle, and 97,730 in Waterworld. I figure if I can get 90,000+, then with the proper strategy, I can crack that 100,000-point barrier. Maybe even get 110,000 just to even up with the other two. Getting four Six Star Ratings, as they have been named, is going to be pretty darn awesome.

Awesome, I say!

Sunday, March 18, 2007

The Quest For 100,000

After taking a cue from the Joyride, I decided to pick up Resident Evil 4 and take another shot at The Mercenaries. I've surpassed 100,000 points in the village and the castle, and I have a high score of 91,000+ in Waterworld, so I figured I'd give try to hit the 100,000 mark in Waterworld and the desert war zone. Might as well go four for four, right?

Well, after two hours of trying, I peaked at 50,000 in the desert and 70,000 in Waterworld. I might have had some dramatic stories to tell about my adventures had they gone better, but yeah, things didn't go my way. So my current high scores in those levels can breathe a sigh of relief for now, knowing that their position hasn't been usurped yet. But I figure I'll have to break those scores eventually. Then I can jump back in on getting past the final confrontation with Krauser on the Professional setting. I still haven't gotten by him yet.

But I will. Eventually.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Writing Woes

If you read Monday's post, you'll remember that I had a whole lot of writing lined up when it came to "Sutton At The Movies." And lately, I've also been thinking about another kind of writing. You guessed it, I'm talking about my attempt at writing a feature film.

While I've come up with a few scenes (two of which borrow from Dane Cook's "nothing fights" and Monopoly bits) and I have a huge .txt file of dialogue I'd like to incorporate, I'm struggling when it comes to thinking up ways to connect these scenes or even think up a real plot without shamelessly ripping off another movie. I know I've said I wanted to do a movie similar to a few other movies that I like, but when it comes right down to it, sometimes substance has to outweigh style.

Keeping my struggles in mind, I often wonder if I'd be better off letting someone else write the thing while I focused on directing. Of course, I'd want to make a few contributions to the writing process, but sometimes a person just has to admit what their strengths and weaknesses are.

I've even thought about downloading an unproduced script off SimplyScripts.com and turning that into a movie. But the ones I've read don't really appeal to me as a movie lover, and I just can't see myself making something that doesn't have my own little personal touches on it. Besides, if I do make a movie written by somebody else, I'd rather it be written by someone I know whose talents I appreciate, not some random, faceless person whose half-assed script I downloaded off the Internet. I'm picky about this sort of thing.

But I figure that if I ever actually do get serious about this whole "making a movie" thing, I'll have to weigh all of my options first. This sort of thing isn't something I can just do halfway and just stop once I get bored or the going gets too tough. But I think this going to take a whole heck of a lot of work if I'm going to go through with it. As stated, options are going to have to be weighed. We'll just have to see how it goes, if it goes anywhere. I've got to use my potential for something, don't I?

March Madness

So March Madness is underway, but I can't say I'm really looking forward to it. Judging by the brackets, Kentucky is going to get destroyed by Kansas in the second round if they even beat Villanova at all. Kentucky's 21-11 record so far this season is just disappointing, and I'll be pleasently surprised if they even make it past the second round. Yeah, I could always cheer for Louisville or even another SEC team, but it just isn't the same.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Yay Spring! Boo Winter!

Well, I was going to write a post about how much I was enjoying the change in weather. After months of that awful, nasty, so-called "winter" weather that wasn't very winter-like at all, we're finally getting some weather that resembled spring. Then I wake up this morning and it's raining. I know that rain is a natural part of this kind of weather, but it's still a buzzkiller. And it's one of those weird rains where it's half-cloudy, half-sunny. That kind of rain is too bizarre.

And the thing is, the county got a thunderstorm warning, but it only rained for maybe five minutes, if that. That's a heck of a thunderstorm. Whatever. But you know, I can forgive mild rainshowers, because it still feels wondrful outside. I could definitely get used to the kind of weather we've been having lately. Minus rain, naturally.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Still Moving Forward

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately in regards to that New Year's resolution I made back in January. I resolved to move forward, by which I mean that I plan on using 2007 to make up for all the years I spent sitting around all that pesky responsibility crap that seems to be all the rage with the kids nowadays.

As much as I want to get out there and improve my mediocre, slacker-ific existence, I'm not exactly sure where I want to start. I have an idea or two, but the correct path hasn't made itself completely clear yet. I think it would be best if I just sat down and mapped out exactly what I'd like to accomplish in order to achive what I'm looking for. I mean, I don't want to be some unemployed slacker bumming rides off my parents for the rest of my life because I refused to grow up.

We're only three months into 2007, and I'm hoping that by the time 2008 rolls around, my path to glory will become more evident. I said in January that this was going to be my year, that I would move forward and out of the quagmire that I've let myself sink into. And I'm going to make that happen, believe me.

Monday, March 12, 2007

I'll Finish Those Reviews Eventually

Remember a while back when I said I was working on three new reviews? I still haven't gotten the chance to really work on the third one yet, thanks to a little confusion with Netflix. But I've gotten everything worked out (I think), and I'm going to get to that review sooner or later. I've got one movie in front of it on my Netflix queue, so barring any insane screw-ups, I'll be getting that review started soon. Maybe next week.

In the meantime, I've been thinking of other reviews I could write. And I have my eyes on a few movies. The new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie comes out in a little less than two weeks, so I've thrown around the idea of reviewing the live-action Ninja Turtles trilogy and posting them on the 23rd. I'm not usually the speediest writer there is, so I don't believe I'd get all three done in time. But I'm going to make an attempt at getting the first one done and posted, then just do the remaining ones some other time.

And it really seems like the list of movies I want to review keeps getting longer and longer. There's quite a few in my DVD collection that I'd like to write about, and there's a mighty crapload of movies in my Netflix queue that I'm looking at. I just can't help stacking my inbox higher and higher, when I really need to start filling up my outbox. A writer's job is never done, it seems.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Rest In Peace, Cap

Wow, I haven't posted since Tuesday. I was on a roll there for a while, and then no posts for several days. What happened? I'm such a slacker. To be totally honest, I almost made a post the other day about Captain America, and now I don't know why I didn't. But since everybody else in the blogosphere is posting about Cap's death, I might as well throw in my two cents as well. Why not?

Since I'm not a very devout comic book reader, I don't really know exactly how to feel about the whole situation. But am I the only one that gets the impression that the whole thing is rather senseless? Why would Marvel want to kill off one of its greatest heroes? To sell a few comics based on shock value alone? To get a little attention after the Civil War's lame resolution? I really don't know for sure.

Color me skeptical, but I think Cap will be resurrected eventually. Yeah, it was a pretty decisive death, but look at what happened to Jason Todd. I'm sure somebody will get the idea to resurrect the Captain America gimmick with someone else wearing the costume, but it just isn't the same unless it's Steve Rogers. It's like when somebody wore the Batman outfit while Bruce Wayne was laid up with a broken back. Bruce Wayne is the only Batman I'll accept, and Steve Rogers is the only Captain America I'll accept. If they do keep the Captain America gimmick going, then they should find a way to keep Steve Rogers in the role. Whether it be reviving him through supernatural means, or getting some kind of vital signs and sticking him in a red, white, and blue Iron Man suit to keep him alive, or something, I'm sure some writer will figure out how to do it. Besides, I'm sure interest in Cap's comics would go up around the time his movie comes out, and I don't believe it'd be in Marvel's best interests to keep such a big-name character dead while his movie (hopefully) does big business at the box office. So for that reason alone, I'm sure Cap will be back by the end of the decade.

But that's just one guy's opinion.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Another Heroes Post

Remember last week when I said Heroes was awesome? I still stand by that this week. I downloaded last night's episode and just finished watching it, and while I didn't think it was quite as good as last week's episode, I still thought it was great.

One thing I liked about this week's episode was that it proved they haven't completely forgotten about the Niki/Jessica saga. And while there wasn't a whole lot to it this week, I'm happy to see that Ali Larter's troubled twosome is still part of the show. As much as I like Hiro, Ando, and the Bennets, I'd really like to see the whole Niki/Jessica thing get more screen time. The story feels like it's treading water, but that's mainly because it isn't getting half as much focus as some of the other storylines. And as much as I think this week's episode was a good way to start changing that, I also think that it's simply gotten lost in the shuffle. That can happen with shows featuring large ensemble casts; the secondary storylines can sometimes be forgotten while the show focuses on the primary ones. I guess I'd just like to see my favorite B-list Heroes characters get a little more screen time, that's all.

Besides that, I also really liked the ending. It was totally unexpected in a good kind of way, and I can't wait to see where it goes next week. Yeah, Heroes could easily let the whole cliffhanger ending thing slip into being cliché, but the show makes them work. It could easily just slip into a "go nowhere, do nothing" phase like Lost, but Heroes works. As I said, the show makes me watch week after week after week. And that, my friends, is the mark of an excellent show. So hooray for Heroes. Oh yeah.

Monday, March 5, 2007

Cell Phones Are EVIL!

I'm still reading Cell, and I'm loving it so far. I'm still not all that deep into it - I'm only up to page 59 - but the book is a real page-turner. Like I said last Thursday, I'm really looking forward to seeing how a movie version of Cell would turn out. If they did it as a hybrid of 28 Days Later and the remake of Dawn of the Dead, where it's violence and chaos and devastation on a global level, then I think it could be really good. Now I'll admit that my 28 Days Later/Dawn of the Dead idea is only based on the 59 pages I've read thus far, but what I've read so far is spectacular and really has a vibe similar to those two movies I've mentioned. Of course, I'd go see a Cell movie no matter what, but it doesn't hurt to imagine what it'd be like.

Anyway, Cell is great so far. I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes. Good stuff, it is.

Sunday, March 4, 2007

It's Just A Number!

Ever see a movie that was utterly confusing yet simultaneously made perfect sense? I've seen such a movie. My dad and I caught the 7:30 showing of The Number 23 in Bardstown tonight, and I thought it was great. But it's so loaded with numerology, both obvious and subtle, that I almost got lost trying to catch it all. Though perhaps that's my fault for paying 100% attention to the plot.

The movie is greatly influenced by the 23 Enigma, which, if I understand it correctly, is the Discordian belief that just about everything can be connected in some shape, form, or fashion to the number 23. I was pretty much a stranger to the 23 Enigma prior to seeing the movie, so I got a real crash course in it. As I said, the movie is absolutely teeming with references to the number. Whether it be the numbers two and three appearing close to one another, a clock showing that it's 11:12 p.m. (11+12=23; 11:00 p.m. is 2300 hours in military time), street signs, bus numbers, or any other way-too-coincidental appearance, the number is everywhere. Everywhere! Joel Schumacher must have been working double-time to get what he did in there.

And like I said, I got so wrapped up in seeing where I could catch all of the number's appearances, I almost totally lost track of where the movie was going. See, I think that's where the home video format really comes in handy. People will watch it once for the movie itself, then watch it again to catch all the little references to 23. And a great special feature for the DVD: the movie edited down to where it's just every 23rd minute of the movie. Granted, that might only be three or four minutes long, but it'd be neat. I also think releasing a version of the book from the movie would have made for a great marketing gimmick. I'd totally buy that book.

You know, Jim Carrey isn't exactly the first name that pops into my mind when I think of people to star in a movie like this. I mean, the sheer number of goofy comedies on his résumé far outweigh the number of serious movies he's done. But you know what? He's actually pretty good here. And if you ask me, he completely blows away the rest of the cast. If he does any more movies like this, people are gonna thing he's more crazy than goofy. I thought he was great, and I hope he does do more movies like this. Maybe a sequel titled The Number 46?

The Number 23 wasn't the best movie ever, but I did like it a lot. I'll give it three and a half stars, with the possibility that I'll bump it up to four once I get the opportunity to see it again. And I have to tell this story before I wrap up this post. After seeing the movie, I started thinking about the number 23, and I noticed a few odd things. We have to take the Bluegrass Parkway to get to Bardstown, and to get to and from the Parkway, we have to take Highway 1796. 1+7+9+6=23. And if I'm not mistaken, Bardstown is 23 miles from my house. I live in the friggin' Twilight Zone.

Going Global

Folks, we here at The Matt Sutton Experience are proud to announce that we've gone worldwide. I just checked Google Analytics, and I discovered that I've gotten hits from Canada, the United Kingdom, Israel, and China. And that's pretty darn awesome. So I want to say hello to my international readers. That is, if you guys are regular readers and aren't just passing through via random Google/Blogger searches. Of course, if you are just passing through, feel free to stick around. Hang out for a while. See how you like the place.

Granted, those hits are for the Blogger version of the MSX. I don't have the Tripod version plugged into Google Analytics, mainly because that one is more or less my backup should something happen to Blogspot. So who knows who's visiting that one. But regardless, it's pretty cool to know that I'm getting visitors from outside my regular American audience (who I'm very proud to have, I might add). Since the MSX is starting to get a tiny international foothold, I wonder if I can gain any kind of notoriety on a global scale if this thing really takes off. I should start drawing up those domination plans now.

Saturday, March 3, 2007

Here's To A Better Tomorrow

Today can go straight to hell. That's really all there is to it.

Nothing is going right. I knocked the laundry room door off its hinges because I'm a major klutz; my family's annoying, worthless dog covered me in mud, and I'm in a generally unhappy mood. And when I get unhappy, I have a tendency to take it out on both myself and others in ways I may regret later. Needless to say, I'm not a very nice person to be around right now.

Ugh, maybe tomorrow will be better. I can't handle too many days like today.

Friday, March 2, 2007

Out Of The Loop

I've been thinking about a lot of the popular trends lately, and the more I think about them, the more I feel like a man without a country. Having been born the year I was, I'm too young to be Generation X, and I feel almost too old to be part of Generation Y. I say that because even though I'm a young man, I'm completely out of touch with the current generation. I don't drive a fancy car; I don't send text messages; and I don't own a cell phone, an iPod, or anything fun like that. I think most current Top 40 music is awful, and I don't watch too many of the TV shows that are currently popular with Generation Y. I'm so completely out of the loop, and I feel like I have way too much catching up to do. I'm just now getting around to liking stuff that was popular in the late '90s, which means I'm probably going to get around the current trends in about ten years. Am I totally out of touch?

I'll admit I've never exactly been the trendiest person ever. I wouldn't know a current trend if it came up and smacked me across the face. But am I so unhip that I might as well be Amish? Because that's what it looks like. I'm a little less than three months away from my 25th birthday, and I'm shaking my fist at the ungrateful whippersnappers that make up my generation. I don't know if that's funny or sad, but I'm leaning towards both.

But I'll say this much: you punkass hooligans better stay off my lawn! You and your rock 'n roll eight-track tapes!

Whatcha Gonna Do, Brother?

I've done it in the past, but I wanted to put over Dave's latest project, a review of the first disc of the Hulk Hogan Ultimate Anthology DVD. He puts me over more than once in it, so it's only nice to return the favor. Plus it's some good reading, and he makes an awesome MST3K joke at the end too. You can't go wrong with MST3K jokes. I'm just afraid that he's a cat's whisker away from selling out to that damnable Internet Wrestling Community.

So go check out that, and I'll probably be back with another post later.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Reading Is Fundamental

I don't just write movie reviews and watch illegally downloaded videos; I enjoy a good book too. I know, I'm as shocked as you are.

Thanks to the county library's bookmobile program, I'm getting the chance to read Stephen King's Cell, which I've been wanting to do for a while. I'm only 25 pages into it right now, but I'm totally digging it. Plus the concept - cell phone users get turned into zombies - is pretty cool, too. And despite not being too deep into the book, I totally think it'd make a great movie. I'd go see it.

I'm looking forward to getting deeper into Cell, seeing where it goes, how it turns out. And I'm glad I don't own a cell phone yet.

Very Nice!

Like I said in my last post, I got to see this week's episode of Heroes via illegal downloading. Also thanks to illegal downloading, I finally got the chance to see Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan tonight. Geez, that's a mouthful of a title. It's up there with Dr. Strangelove's full title, for crying out loud. But I'm getting off-track. I missed out on the Borat phenomenon back in November when it was all anyone was talking about, but I finally got around to seeing it on my computer just a few minutes ago. And I have to say, I don't know too many movies that are both this funny and this completely wrong at the same time.

It's politically incorrect in the most insane way, and I must admit that I do think at least some of the controversy it caused has a teensy bit of merit. Sasha Baron Cohen's titular character is completely backwards in his way of thinking, thanks to his rather ... *ahem* ... "confused" beliefs regarding women and various cultures. If it were any other movie, if it were any other character, Baron Cohen would be accused of being a racist and the movie would have tanked at the box office. What makes it actually work is that Borat isn't being malicious; he's just stupid. Baron Cohen plays the role with a certain amount of innocence, and that's what makes the whole thing so charming.

This movie sets the bar of politically incorrect humor extremely high. It seems almost wrong to laugh at at times, but some scenes are so awkward and bizarre that laughter is inevitable. (Take the naked fight scene, for example.) But the movie's funny, no doubt about it. Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan gets four stars, and I'm sure I'll have a full review of it once I can get around to watching the DVD via Netflix. Oh yeah, it's a total S@TM induction, for sure.