Resident Evil 4: Best Game Ever

So it's three days after Christmas, and I really want to make a post, but can't really think of anything to say off the top of my head. So I'm just gonna wing it, okay?

Thanks to Santa, I now have more movies I'd like to review. It's all just a matter of working up the motivation. But I've never let that stop me before. I'll work them out sooner or later, one of these days. And after seeing both the original and its remake from the '70s on TV lately, I also have my eye on reviewing all three King Kong movies. I'll wait until Peter Jackson's new remake is released on DVD, so you'll have to wait anywhere from four to six months.

I got Resident Evil 4 for Christmas, and it has to be one of the most addictive games I've played in a long time. There's some sections of the game that are so tough I can't imagine getting past them, but I'm gonna conquer the game. This I vow. I'm also working on the second and third Resident Evil games as well, and I do wish that Capcom had gone the extra mile and updated the graphics like they did with their remake of the first Resident Evil game. It's just sad when you see all these beautiful graphics in Zero, Resident Evil 4, and the remake, and then play the second and third games and see these ugly, outdated graphics that look like Xerox copies of the PlayStation 1 games. It's just sad, really.

And that's really all I can think of to say. Sutton out.

Mediocrity With Dick And Jane

Happy Christmas, everyone. And have a safe one, okay?

Saw a late showing of Fun With Dick & Jane in Danville last night, and it was average at best. There's some funny scenes courtesy of Jim Carrey, but the plot is so disjointed and silly that it really bogs the movie down. The movie doesn't know what direction it wants to go in, so it tries to go in every direction until it just wears itself thin. I'll give Fun With Dick & Jane two stars for Carrey's performance alone, because that's the only real drawing point of the movie. If you don't get to see it, you're not really missing anything.

"Kiri, kiri, kiri, kiri..."

After seeing it ranked #11 on Bravo's list of the 100 scariest movie moments, I'd been wanting to see the Japanese movie Audition. And thanks to the wonder that is Netflix, I finally got that chance. Directed by notorious filmmaker Takashi Miike, the movie tells the story of widower Shigeharu Aoyama (as played by Ryo Ishibashi). Deciding to put himself back out on the market but unsure of how to meet a woman, a friend in the filmmaking business suggests holding a fake audition to find the right woman. After an exhaustive audition process, Aoyama ends up falling for a meek, mysterious girl named Asami Yamakazi (Eihi Shiina). Everything seems great for a while, but things soon fall apart. In short: boy meets girl, boy dates girl, boy ends up discovering the girl's hellish past, girl brutally tortures boy. It really tugs at the heartstrings, folks.

The movie is wonderfully acted by Ishibashi and Shiina, and brilliantly directed by Miike. The movie rocks the slow burn for nearly an hour, and while those with shorter attention spans may find it boring, it's all a buildup for the horrific finale. So horrific, in fact, that Audition held the dubious honor of the most audience walk-outs ever at its premiere. Although Miike denies it, the movie also seems to make a social commentary on the stereotypical subservient Japanese bride. We spend the entire movie thinking Asami is a timid, quiet young lady, but by the end of the movie, we see that she's been in charge the entire time.

The finale is unrelenting in its desire to torture its viewers, proving why Miike has earned a reputaion as one of Japan's most extreme directors. His odd camera angles, along with the way he has edited the movie, make for a unique method of storytelling. At the end of the movie, scenes we saw in the early going are repeated, only with far different, darker dialogue. This is most likely done to show how far Aoyama’s preconceived notions are from the truth. He’s so blinded by his affection for Asami that he never realizes just how messed up she is. Miike teases us as well, showing us quick bits that at first make us believe that the horrors are just a dream. But we're soon jolted back to reality, yanked back into the torture of the finale.

Audition is most certainly a movie not made for all audiences. If you're squemish or don't like having your head screwed with, I'd suggest renting another movie. But if you do, go check out Audition. I'll give it a solid four stars and a recommendation.

I Shot A Review In Reno Just To Watch It Die

In other news, we've got one more review for your reading pleasure. This time, it's this year's Johnny Cash biopic Walk The Line. Read and enjoy.

"Link" Is More Than Just Zelda's Boyfriend

Did a little tinkering with my links, including adding a controversial friend of the blog. He asked me to make a mention of some of his various writings, and those of you in the know have an idea which writings I'm talking about. If you do know, then check them out. If you're clueless, then maybe you're better off that way. It's the unwritten policy of this blog to stay out of controversy whenever possible, since this blog is a suburb of Happy Land (hi Kristen!), so that's all I have to say about it. If you've got a problem with it, you know how to get ahold of me. Just keep the vitriol off the blog, okay? That's all I ask.

Watch out, Tom! Xenu is coming for you!

We've got another new review for Sutton At The Movies. This time, we have Steven Spielberg's remake of War of the Worlds for your reading pleasure.

Three Hours Is Too Long To Monkey Around

Kentucky 73, Louisville 61. It's a good day to be a UK fan.

In other news, I caught Peter Jackson's remake of King Kong tonight, and I thought it was outstanding. The only complaints I have about it are the fact that the ship's arrival at Skull Island was so dark, I couldn't tell what was going on (or was that just due to a messed-up projector at the theater I was at?), and that the movie just seemed to drag at times. Did we really need a ten-minute scene of dinosaurs falling down a cliff?

They could have easily cut 30 minutes of the jungle scene out, and I doubt it would have been missed. Now I understand why Miramax decided to cut Kill Bill in half, because if King Kong felt too long at three hours, then I'd have been completely worn out after a four-hour movie. In any event, the movie is nothing short of wonderful. And oddly enough, the best member of the cast is the CGI gorilla. The scene where he keeps knocking over Naomi Watts's character during her dance routine is hilarious, and the ending is so heartwrenching that if I'd been alone, I'd have been bawling like a baby. I can't give King Kong anything less than four stars, and I recommend seeing it, for sure.

Jet Li Could Break My Face

Not much to report on today, so I think I'll throw out a quickie movie review.

I just finished watching Unleashed, and I liked it a lot. The fights are outstanding, and the acting is a lot better than I expected out of a movie of this style. Morgan Freeman is great as always and Bob Hoskins is wonderfully wicked, but I was really surprised by Jet Li. I'll admit I'm not all that familiar with his movies (though I did think The One was awesome), so I went in thinking he was just some generic martial arts movie guy like Jean Claude Van Damme or Steven Seagal, only Chinese. He really did a spectacular job not only with his fighting scenes, but with the scenes that required him to actually act too. I heard that he wants to quit martial arts movies and so he can concentrate on serious acting roles, and I think he'd be up to the task. Unleashed gets four stars, and a recommendation to check it out.

Richard Prior: Worst Death Ever

From a big "we miss you" to John Lennon on Thursday, to a big "we miss you" to Richard Pryor today. I can't say I'm surprised, because it was obvious that his multiple sclerosis was getting to him, but it's still a huge bummer. And to mourn, I'd like to highlight my review of Superman III. Yeah, I gave the movie a bad review, but it's the only Richard Pryor movie I have on S@TM.

Speaking of, I promised three new reviews. So while I have your attention, I'd like to direct you to my reviews of Alien, Predator, and Alien vs. Predator. Have fun reading.

I Miss High School Sometimes

Instead of seeing Walk The Line again like originally planned, the usual suspects and I decided to head to our old high school, Washington County HS, to see the boys and girls basketball teams play a doubleheader against rival school Marion County. The girls won, but the real action was in the guys' game. The guys lost by ten points (and never lead the game at all), but the student sections representing each school got so involved in the game that I thought there might have been a riot had the game been any longer. They were really into it. And for some reason, everyone in WC's student section decided to stand up for the entirity of the second game. I ended up having to stand up too, for the simple fact that if I didn't, I'd have had to sit right on the court to see anything. But I digress, it could have been worse.

I got that replacement DVD I mentioned a few posts back, and its review should be done in a few days. I know Libby's looking forward to it and the others I was working on, and I hope the rest of you are too. If not, you better have a good reason why.

To borrow a phrase from Walter Cronkite, "And that's the way it is." Sutton out.

Sutton Watches Smallville

So I was watching Smallville tonight, and decided to jot down a few random thoughts during the show. Do you mind?

• The plot for this episode seems awfully familiar. I think one of the show's writers saw that Nicholas Cage movie The Family Man and decided to do an episode like that.
• I'm going to join Television Without Pity on the anti-Lana bandwagon. Smallville really needs to crap or get off the pot with their relationship. If she hasn't figured out Clark has superpowers by now, she's dumber than she looks. Maybe I'm just resentful of the fact that they're so obviously going to kill off Chloe, I don't know.
• That kid looks like he's four years old, five tops. What's a kid doing in a car seat at that age? Wouldn't he have graduated to a regular seat belt by then?
• Hah, Clark runs "faster than a speeding bullet." They've really been going heavy on the old Superman catchphrases lately, though. Or is that just me?
• Aw, poor Clark gave up his first Christmas with the girl he's been spying on all his life. He's a Super Peeping Tom, that's what he is.
• "Ho ho holy cow!" What a lame line. But funny.
• Man, Pa Kent looks like a dork with the glasses and slicked-back hair. Bo Duke would have kicked the crap out of him out of spite.
• Lana's dying? Nice way to appease the Television Without Pity folks without really killing her, guys.
• Wow, Lionel is a bastard.
• Yay! Lana's dead! Now Clark can move on to Chloe, and all shall be right in the world. Oh wait, just a dream. Thanks for teasing me, Smallville.
• Oh, that Santa Claus. What a rascal.
• So Lana expects it to be the first of many Christmases with Clark? Wait until he moves to Metropolis and hooks up with Lois.
• Hooray for Evil Lex. It's about time.

The episode seemed to sit on the fence. I liked the push towards Evil Lex, but outside of that, it was just a filler Christmas episode. Thumbs in the middle. And unfortunately, it's the last new episode until January. I hate all these breaks.

TNA's got a special Thursday episode of Impact coming up in an hour, so I'm going to wrap this up and get ready for that. Until the next post, Sutton out.

Cracked DVDs Suck

First up, happy birthday Jill! And a great big "we miss you" to John Lennon.

Christmas is in two and a half weeks, so if you haven't finished doing your shopping, what are you waiting for?

Remember me mentioning that I had three new reviews I was working on? Well, you'll have to wait a few days longer. Before I could start on the third review, the DVD of that particular movie that I got from Netflix was cracked (to the point that it was actually broken), so while I wait for a replacement DVD, you're going to have to wait for the reviews. Sorry.

That's all the news that's fit to print for now. I may or may not see Walk The Line again tomorrow, but it all depends on the weather. If I do, I'll be back to once again give my opinions on it. In any event, Sutton out.

It's Easter Time Already?

Jiminy Christmas, I need to update this thing more often.

The holiday season is upon us, and it seems like it's getting earlier each and every year. It doesn't help that stores put all the Christmas stuff two weeks before Halloween, but hey, what can you do? One of these days, the major retail chains are just going to start selling holiday stuff year-round. They put the Valentine's Day stuff out in the middle of January, they put the Easter stuff right after Valentine's Day, it's a vicious cycle of holiday trinkets and junk. I like holidays and stuff now, but come on.

Out of three movies I wanted to review, two are finished and the third one will be done in the next week or so. There's another one that I'm working on too, but I don't really have a target date for that one. So I'll get that one finished and posted whenever I feel like it.

Okay, so that's all the news that's fit to print. Sutton out.