Wrestling With Reviews

As I get ready for the gala premiere of the Blogger version of "Sutton at the Movies," I'm still trying to milk all I can get out of Tripod. So with that in mind, I've got a new review for you dedicated readers. The review in question is of Darren Aronofsky's The Wrestler, starring Mickey Rourke and Marisa Tomei.

I'd initially wanted to write that as part of a triple feature of reviews, with No Holds Barred and Ready to Rumble as the other two parts. But the more I wrote about The Wrestler, the less I wanted to lump it in with those other two. So I finally just decided to hold off on reviewing No Holds Barred and Ready to Rumble and go ahead with posting The Wrestler by itself. I'll probably get those other two movies sometime, but as for now, just enjoy what I've got posted. Okay? Alright.

Prepping For A Move

Welcome back to the MSX, folks. There hasn't really been a whole lot going on that's been worth blogging about, outside of a little work we've been doing on our house. It's been a wee bit stressful and I could use a break from it, so let's move on.

What I'd like to talk about is the two new reviews I have up over at "Sutton at the Movies." The new reviews in question: the Spanish zombie movie [Rec] and it's American remake, Quarantine. And the way it's looking, I'm not sure how much more I'll be able to host on Tripod after this, since the available space I'm allowed is becoming more and more limited. I think I've got half a megabyte of space left, which means I've got enough room for maybe two or three more reviews if I'm lucky.

And that's why I started working on a Blogger version of "Sutton at the Movies." I started posting all my old reviews about a week or two ago, and as of earlier this afternoon, I'm completely up to date. It's up and running as we speak, but I don't think I'll have a big grand opening gala for it until I'm completely out of space on Tripod. It shouldn't be too long until then, at the rate I'm running. So keep your eyes peeled, and I'll have all the information ready to post when the right opportunity presents itself.

Midnight Madness

Even though I like the whole concept of midnight movies, I never really get the chance to attend any. There's been two or three in the past, but not as many as I'd like. That's what I get for living so far out in the boonies. But regardless, I can add one more to the number I've seen, because I got the opportunity to head up to Lexington's Kentucky Theatre for a midnight screening of Friday the 13th, Part VII: The New Blood last night. It was part of a horror convention going on in Lexington this weekend, but while I can't get up to the convention, I couldn't miss the movie.

What made this particular midnight movie special (to me, anyway) was that it was introduced by Jason himself, Kane Hodder. He was in town for that convention, and since The New Blood was his first movie as Jason, they had him come in to say a little something before it began. I was a little bummed that his intro was only four or five minutes long, considering that I heard Gunner Hansen spoke for at least half an hour at the midnight showing of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre the night before. But I can't really complain about it, because I thought it was still cool. The best part, though, was that he stuck around for part of the movie, and when his favorite kill - the sleeping bag scene - arrived, he shouted, "You're gonna get it, bitch! Yeah!" I thought that was kinda funny.

I've got to admit that the whole thing was a lot of fun. Sitting there with a bunch of Jason fans, laughing and cheering at every awesome moment, was a great experience. I wish I could go see the Kentucky Theatre's midnight movies more often. But if I can't, at least I have this one.

A Month Too Early

Is it just me, or are stores pushing their holiday wares on us sooner and sooner? I bring it up because I was in a supermarket last night that had already had a Halloween section set up. Granted, it was mostly the candy aisle dressed in orange and black, with some random decorations on sale as well, but still. I love Halloween, but I'm not ready for it yet. Can't we wait until October (or at least the end of September) before stores go nuts for Halloween?

At least we aren't seeing Christmas stuff yet. I'm sure that won't be turning up until November. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if stores tried kicking off their yuletide festivities the week before Halloween. Don't act like you'd be surprised either.

Since When Is Halloween Not In October?

Another weekend, another trip to the movies. This will probably be it for posts like this for at least a month, maybe two if none of the local theaters get Zombieland. I'd probably go see Jennifer's Body, but I've decided to pass on it. The reason being that after Transformers 2, Megan Fox has completely worn out her welcome. But anyway, I headed out this afternoon to see Halloween II, Rob Zombie's sequel to his remake of the horror classic. I thought the remake was mostly awful, with only a handful of decent moments. But as far as the sequel goes, it's at least an improvement. It's still not all that great, but I guess I'll have to take what I can get.

The movie is, by and large, a standard slasher movie. And if it had stuck to that, it might have been pretty decent. But there are so many weird elements, stupid elements, and elements that are poorly realized, that it hurts the movie. Did we really need the whole thing with Michael's mom and the white horse? Jason is the mama's boy, not Michael. And was it just me, or did Dr. Loomis's character arc seem super-rushed? It felt like he spent the majority of the arc at the beginning, then decided to stay there before completely skipping over the middle and arriving at the end in the last ten minutes of the movie. Were all the scenes where he develops and reaches his final conclusions left on the cutting room floor?

So yeah, the writing cold have used some improvement. And to tell you the truth, the acting could have too. It's really a mixed bag. Malcolm McDowell and Brad Dourif put forth good performances, and Tyler Mane is scary as Michael Myers. I even thought Sheri Moon Zombie was good, despite there being no real need for her character beyond Rob Zombie wanting to stick his wife in all his movies. But the supporting cast is kinda weak, and our "final girl," Scout Taylor-Compton, is tremendously bad. I've seen her in three movies now, and I've come to the decision that she needs to go take a few acting classes. Just because you're cute as a button doesn't mean you should be starring in widely-released theatrical movies.

It doesn't help anything that the new version of Laurie Strode is one of the most useless, pathetic characters in I've ever seen in a horror movie. She's right up there with the girl that hid in the refrigerator in Madman, though the new Laurie doesn't have the redeeming factor of doing something as awesome as using a fridge to hide from the killer. Taylor-Compton has nothing on Jamie Lee Curtis, whose version of Laurie is still one of the slasher genre's most beloved "final girls." I know several horror fans who were legitimately upset when Jamie Lee's Laurie was killed off at the beginning of Halloween: Resurrection. I don't particularly believe that the same will be said for Scout's Laurie. thanks to the fatal combination of bad writing and bad acting.

So how did I ultimately feel about Halloween II? It's definitely a step up from the remake, but I'd still rather watch the old Halloween movies instead. And I say that because they're simply more fun. Yeah, more fun. Rob Zombie's two Halloween movies are almost unbearably mean-spirited and cruel. I end up being more disappointed and depressed just thinking about them than I do the others. Disappointed because they're just not all that great, and depressed because of how unapologetically mean they are. But because it is at least an improvement with a few bits and pieces that I actually did like, I'll give Halloween II two and a half stars on my scale of five.

What I really fear, though, is the rumor that Zombie will be tackling a new remake of The Blob next. He supposedly doesn't like any of the previous Blob movies, and because of that, he will probably make the villain something other than the giant man-eating Jello monster that we all know and love. I hope somebody comes to their senses between now and then and realizes just how much that idea sucks. If you're going to name your movie The Blob, it had better star that giant man-eating Jello monster or this guy. Otherwise, you'd be better off giving it a different name, right?

We've Got Movie Sign!

After posting that review of The Midnight Meat Train yesterday, I decided that I needed to follow that rather bleak movie with a little levity. And to do that, I've whipped up a review of Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie. This one was a weird review to write, since how do you really critique three guys sitting around mocking a movie? But I figured I'd give it a shot. I don't really think it's one of my better reviews, but what's it going to hurt, right? It's not like I get paid to do this.

So go read that, then run out and rent the movie, because it's great. Trust me on this.

Maybe Vegans Have It Right?

So we're two days into September now. Isn't the time flying by? Anyway, why don't we pass some more time by reading the new review I have up over at "Sutton at the Movies"? This time around, the movie of choice is The Midnight Meat Train. It's an adaptation of a short story written by Clive Barker, and its depiction of a serial killer who's turned a subway train into a meat locker almost puts me in the mood to turn vegetarian. Almost. (I just can't quit you, hamburgers.)

That's all I've got, so have fun reading.