Zombie Birds Are Awesome

So tonight I managed to get out of the house and catch a showing of Resident Evil: Extinction. I'd been looking forward to seeing it for a while now, and I have to say that I wasn't disappointed. Sure, Wesker barely has anything to do at all, and the Claire Redfield character has nothing at all in common with her video game counterpart, but I must admit that I thought the movie was quite entertaining.

Naturally, there were parts I didn't think flowed all that well, primarily the thoroughly useless scene where Milla Jovovich gets trapped in a room full of zombie dogs. But other than that, I really don't have a whole lot of negative things to say about the movie. The cast is strong, the effects are good (though some of the blood spurts obviously being CGI was a bit distracting), and I thought a lot of the scares were effective.

I don't really know if I'd recommend the movie to those who weren't fond of the first two chapters in the Resident Evil movie trilogy. If you didn't like the other movies, then you could probably skip Extinction and not feel bad. If you did like them, though, then this one will more than likely be up your alley. I dug it a lot, so I'm going to give it three and a half stars on the patent-pending Sutton Scale, along with a thumbs up.

Robots and Aliens

And here we are, folks. Welcome back to the show, where not a lot goes on, but we make the most of it anyway. I'm in a posting mood, but since I don't really have a particular topic in mind, I'll just do what I always do and make something up as I go along. Hopefully I'll be able to start doing posts with a bit more substance once things really start going my way, but as always, I'll have to adopt my typical "wait and see" mentality for now.

But moving on, I did get a chance to see the season premiere of Heroes the other night. There were some good parts (the Hiro stuff), some lame parts (the "robots and aliens" thing), and some confusing parts (the siblings fleeing to America), but I thought it was a watchable episode. It at least has me wanting to see next week's episode, so the episode did its job.

I also got the chance to catch the first episode of Reaper on Tuesday night. I'm still bummed that the CW chose to cancel Veronica Mars, but Reaper shows a lot of promise. The cast is funny and the premise is novel, so I'll give it a chance.

Then in a few minutes are the season premieres of Smallville and My Name Is Earl, both of which I'm looking forward to seeing. Since I have yet to join the twenty-first century and acquire a TiVo (or a reasonable facsimile thereof), I'll probably end up watching one and downloading the other once I can find it online. I'd be happy if the shows were on different nights so I wouldn't have to choose between them, but I guess I could say the same thing about Heroes and Monday Night Raw. At least there isn't anything in my regular viewing schedule that's up against Supernatural, which starts back up next week, so that's a plus.

And it seems I'm beginning to take this post into an odd, rambling tangent. That sort of thing seems to happen when I do one of these posts written on the fly. But as I said, I'm hoping that once I get the big ball rolling, I'll have more worthwhile material for the MSX. Not that discussing the beginning of the fall TV season isn't worthwhile, but you know what I mean.

One More RE4 Victory

I mentioned early last week that I was thinking about picking up Resident Evil 4 and playing through the main game again. So I did get back into the game the other day, and I blazed through it pretty darn quickly. Finished it up a few hours ago, as a matter of fact. My final time was seven hours, ten minutes, and nineteen seconds, with 969 kills racked up and only four deaths against me. I probably could have shortened by time by a few minutes had I not taken both pathways after the cabin swarm in order to boost my body count.

So yeah, that marks eleven victories for yours truly in Resident Evil 4. At this point, playing through it in Normal Mode doesn't really seem like all that much of a challenge anymore. It's way to easy to breeze through it now, what with all the super-powered weapons in my arsenal. And Hard Mode is almost too hard, especially since I'm stuck. So yeah, I don't really know what else is left for me in Resident Evil 4.

I might pick it up again sometime, when the mood for a twelth victory strikes me. That, or whenever I get around to picking up a Wii. I haven't been lucky enough to purchase a Wii yet, but I'm totally going to pick up it and the Wii version of Resident Evil 4 sometime. And it'll be awesome.

Screw Thunderdome, Welcome To Battle Royale

Just to kill a little time on this lazy Sunday afternoon, I've got a new review up over at the usual place. This new one is of Battle Royale, which, if you're an American, you'll probably have to rent it from Netflix or download it if you want to watch it without jump through a whole bunch of hoops in order to acquire a copy. Or, I don't know, maybe do a search for it on YouTube, see if it's on there. Everything is on YouTube, isn't it?

But yeah, click the link and check out what I had to say about Battle Royale if you'd like. Then go track down a copy of the movie by whatever means possible. Or watch the movie first, then read the review. Or do one and not the other. What do I care, I'm not the boss of you. But read the review. Please?

"...For Just One Day"

Okey dokey, folks, here it is: the last episode of the second season of Who Wants To Be A Superhero?. We're still down to just three - Hyper-Strike, the Defuser, and Hygena - following the previous episode's non-elimination. Let's get to it and see just who walks way from this thing as the winner.

I said at the previous post that the heroes were going to meet someone with plenty of balls, and that's true. As they celebrate their advancement to the finals, the party is crashed by ECW performer Balls Mahoney. Balls reveals that he was not sent by Doctor Dark, but by Stan so he could teach them to fight. The funny part is that they obviously have no idea who Balls is.

Morning comes, and it's time for the heroes to attend "superhero stunt school." Once they arrive, Balls introduces them to a stuntman by the name of John, who promptly cracks Balls upside the head with a metal folding chair. The heroes are amazed that he dented that chair with his head, but somebody needs to send them some tapes of Balls's matches in the old-school ECW. Once they see him get slammed through a table that's been set on fire and covered with barbed wire and thumbtacks, they'll know just how tough he is.

So first up is some flight training, via wirework in front of a green screen. The heroes learn how to throw some punches and kicks after that, and once they've completed that, Balls declares their training to be complete.

But before they themselves can leave, Doctor Dark arrives and wants to throw down. Good thing they just finished learning how to fight. They promptly kick the everloving crap out of Doctor Dark, barely letting him get a punch in at all. Stan congratulates them, and asks that they report back to the lair.

Just like last season's conclusion, Stan takes each of the finalists aside, asking why they're there...

• Hyper-Strike says he was a misfit in school, and wanted to prove that he was something special.
• Hygena reveals that she'd had a miscarriage in the past, and that caused a lot of damage to her self-esteem. She signed up for the show with the hope that it would give her the bravery to turn things around.
• When he was a kid, Defuser's sister was a drug addict. He said he wished he'd had a comic book hero to help her and their family through it, and decided to become that hero himself.

With that done, it's now time to find out who will win, and who will lose. Stan sends his three finalists to Universal Studios Hollywood for the big announcement, introducing them with their own goofy mock movie trailers and comments of encouragement from their families.

After they're introduced to the crowd, it's time to announce the winner. And the winner is... The Defuser. He dedicates his victory to not only his family, but also to every under-appreciated law enforcement official out there. All of the previously eliminated contestants return to congratulate him, along with his family, season one winner Feedback, and Stan Lee himself. Roll credits.

That's it for season two, folks. I was kinda taken aback at the beginning of the season by how silly it was compared to last season, since I had to have a far greater suspension of disbelief. But I thought this season was fun, for sure. And while I was bummed that some of the heroes I was rooting for were eliminated early, I'm not upset at all that Hyper-Strike, Defuser, and Hygena were the finalists, and that Defuser was the last hero standing. I might have picked Hyper-Strike or Hygena out of those three if it were up to me, but I'm not arguing with Defuser.

So now, we can wait a year for the third season, if there is one. Until then, true believers, excelsior.

"We Could Be Heroes..."

Alright, everybody, it's time for another of my patented Who Wants To Be A Superhero? recaps. We're down to the last two episodes of the season, which I'll be doing back to back, instead of as one long recap like I'd originally considered. And unfortunately, since the Sci-Fi Channel isn't running their usual Tuesday night reruns after ECW's show, I'm relegated to watching the episodes on SciFi.com. It's not really that big of a deal, as long as we get through this. So let's knock these bad boys out, okay?

When we last left our potential heroes, Parthenon had been eliminated, and Doctor Dark had unleashed Evil Stanzilla upon the city. As the episode begins, the regular Stan informs the remaining three heroes of Evil Stanzilla's rampage, directing them to the local power exchange. His gigantic villainous doppelganger is feeding off electricity, so the heroes have to run a line between two generators in order to create a power surge that will defeat him. But, as Stan says, there might be one small complication. That complication? Three pissed-off guard dogs.

Lucky for them, they happened to have some protective gear packed in their car. The dogs promptly go after them, with Hygena getting tackled by one and rendered pretty much immobile. She figures she'll take one for the team, so she tells the others to leave her behind while the dog goes after her. And with the other two dogs hanging off Defuser, Hyper-Strike manages to initiate the power surge and stop Evil Stanzilla.

Victorious, the heroes return to the lair. Battered and bruised from the dog fight, the trio reflect upon what happened, with Hygena believing she performed the worst in spite of her sacrifice. Stan contacts them, and to reward them for the day's efforts, he presents them with their own action figures. Naturally, they're thrilled. Where do I get my own action figure? I guess I have to sign up for season three.

The following morning, Stan dispatches them to an office building, reminding them that Doctor Dark is still at large. The three search through the building, and end up running into former MTV VJ Kennedy on the set of the Fox Reality Channel talk show Reality Remix. Turns out Stan had sent them there to teach them how to deal with the media. Of course, there's a hidden test going on, the test being to see what they'll reveal when they believe the cameras are off. Kinda like the food run from the first season.

Once they return to the lair, Stan asks them to, instead of doing normal mission reports, to tell one another what they're thinking. It isn't really a whole lot, outside of Hygena believing she could have done better, and that Hyper-Strike thinks he'll get cut. But enough of that, it's time for an elimination.

All three are called up to the chopping block, with Stan revealing just how they'd screwed up during the Reality Remix challenge. Turns out Hyper-Strike revealed that was raised in Vermont but lived in Chicago, Defuser revealed that he's a cop from Texas and that he has a teenage son, and Hygena revealed what part of California she's from, and that her husband is an attorney. But when it comes time for them to defend themselves, Hyper-Strike announces that he should be cut if Stan doesn't have complete faith in his abilities. It's then that Stan announces that the person turning in his or her costume will be...

...nobody.

Stan's decided to let all three pass through to the finals, because in spite of their flubs at the TV studio, he believes that all three of them have earned it.

Our three finalists return to the lair and find bottles of champagne with which to celebrate. But the party is interrupted by someone with plenty of balls. You'll see what I mean in the next post.

Number One In The Hood, G.

Guess what I just finished.

Go on, guess.

No, not Resident Evil 4. What do you think I am, some kind of game-dominating juggernaut? Actually, I just completed a new review. The movie in question is Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters, the goofy movie based on the goofy cartoon on Adult Swim. Even though I probably wouldn't call it one of my better reviews as far as my writing performance goes, I do ask that you at least give it a quick read. Okay? Alright.

Coming up soon, within the next week or so, I'll officially be starting work on that "Sutton At The Arcade" project I've been talking about for so long. It'll be composed of nine reviews, all of them either based on video games or incorporating games heavily into the plot. Plus I plan on dipping into the archives and bringing out the reviews of video game movies that I've done in the past. So it's going to be kind of a big deal. I might - MIGHT! - add a review of Resident Evil: Extinction to "Sutton At The Arcade," but that's only if I can find a decent enough download of it after the movie is released in a few weeks. It just depends on my luck, and how quick the movie pirates can hook me up with exactly what I'd be looking for.

Anyway, you can look forward to "Sutton At The Arcade" one of these days, but have fun reading the new review in the here and now. I should have my recap of the Who Wants To Be A Superhero? finale up around this time tomorrow, so you can be anticipating that. And that's about it for this one.

Returning To Old Favorites

I've been thinking about jumping back into the world of Resident Evil 4 lately. I don't really need to, since I've already beaten it ten times, along with at least five victories in the "Assignment Ada" game and six-figure scores in each level of "The Mercenaries." It's too bad I don't have a PS2 or a Wii, because I'd love to try my hand at that "Separate Ways" mini-game. But since I'm currently without either console, the Gamecube version is all I have to work with.

I will say, though, that I've been working to improve my scores on The Mercenaries, but I've hardly made it so much as close to my current highs. I guess I should be happy to have gotten 100,000 points in each level as it is, but after seeing those YouTube videos where guys are scoring at least 500,000 points can really knock a man's ego down a a few pegs. Though I could probably still go through the main game again and see where that takes me, or pick up that round on the Professional level I started a few months ago and never got around to finishing. I got up to the fight with Krauser near the end and got stuck, and every attempt I've made since was like hitting a brick wall. But it wouldn't hurt me to try and go back and try to make another attempt or two, right?

Yeah, I think I could jump right back into the game sometime. I should probably pick up one of the other five Resident Evil games too, since I don't believe I've played any of them all the way through in at least a year. And I do love me some Resident Evil, so whatever game I end up playing will be good times.

Lots Of Projects At Once

I know I've said I want to post more than once or twice a week like I have been, but it's rough when you don't have a whole lot to talk about. I guess I need to work on that.

But I think another part of it is that I've been taking on quite a few projects all at once lately. I've got a new review I'm currently in the middle of writing, I've put a little work into another few reviews I'm planning on doing in the near future, and I've got those nine reviews for "Sutton At The Arcade" lined up within the next few weeks. And when you throw in the number of reviews I'm planning on writing after those, you're looking at somebody that's piling on too many projects at once. Counting the current one and "Sutton At The Arcade," I've got somewhere in the neighborhood of twenty potential reviews lined up before I can take a real break. I'm almost glad I'm an amateur, otherwise I'd probably have a lot more on my schedule. (Though at least I'd get paid for professional reviewing.)

Regardless, I am really looking forward to working on all the things I've got lined up, no matter how much effort I might have to put into it. I try to stay dedicated to my craft, if anything. Plus talking about all that work gives me reason to do a post or two.

Down To The Wire

I guess I'll have to take time out of checking out the Heroes DVD set to do my weekly reviews of Who Wants To Be A Superhero?. The season is wrapping up, as we've narrowed the contestants to the final four. I'll save the small talk for the end, since I've got a review to get to.

The episode opens with Stan telling the superheroes will receive their next set of orders in code. He tells them that their first code is so elementary, that they'll have to solve it at an elementary school. Again, like last year, they're going to be involved with a group of fourth graders. Each hero is given a multiple choice quiz, and each answer will give them a particular letter of the alphabet needed to reveal the code. They have to split up into groups with the kids, and since time is of the essence, they only have five minutes to decode the message.

So they break up into four. Parthenon is the first to finish, but he does ninety-nine percent of the work himself and barely gets the kids involved as all. (He was quoted as saying, "This challenge could have been called 'Are You Smarter Than A Fourth Grader?,' and I believe I am." Damn, dude, that's cold.) The other three make sure to get the kids as involved as possible, to the point that Hygena finished her part of the code with only thirty-nine seconds left just to make sure the kids in her group were involved.

Their message gives them directions to an intersection that leads them to a park, but when they arrive Doctor Dark and Stan's evil clone hijack their communicators and decide they're gonna screw around with the heroes. Evil Stan gives the heroes random embarrassing tasks to perform, and not knowing the difference between the two Stans, they all blindly obey. Most notably: the Defuser liberates a number of hats from their owners and asks a random bystander how to resolve a "super-wedgie;" Hygena does a song-and-dance routine before trying to stop traffic; Hyper-Strike starts snooping through peoples' belongings; and Parthenon borrows a mother's cane in order to dance a jig, before dumping the cane in a trash can. Though the Defuser gets suspicious and Hygena thinks the orders are odd, nothing comes of it.

Evil Stan eventually sends them to an abandoned warehouse, where he tells them that Good Stan's stolen pencil was inside a shipping container. Hygena discovers the pencil, but the container's doors slam shut and Doctor Dark reveals his scheme. He gives them sixty minutes to escape, otherwise he'll dispose of them. Using random objects inside and around the container along with pieces of their costumes, Hyper-Strike and Parthenon come up with a plan that leads the four to their escape in the nick of time.

As they return to the lair, Good Stan assures the heroes that it's really him and asks them to fill out their mission reports. Revealed in this report:

• Hygena could've been more involved.
• The Defuser shouldn't have dropped the pole they used to acquire the tools outside the container. He defends himself, however, by saying that he didn't drop it, but that it broke on its own.
• Parthenon was a bit too pushy.

Stan calls the heroes to the rooftop for the next elimination. He reprimands them for not even bothering to question the orders they were given by Evil Stan, and calls to the chopping block are Hygena (for her continued meekness, as well as being a traffic hazard), Parthenon (for his pushiness, and failing to bond with the children); and Hyper-Strike (for telling the kids his real name). Though in his defense, that was an attempt to teach the kids to not be ashamed of who they are. It is Parthenon who is asked to turn in his costume, as Stan reveals that exactly zero of the schoolchildren liked him.

And as the episode comes to a close, Doctor Dark enlarges Evil Stan to gigantic proportions and unleashes him upon the city. So not only is he an evil clone of Stan Lee, but he's also Stanzilla. Maybe they need to have him fight with a Mothra-ized evil Jack Kirby clone, or an evil Frank Miller clone that looks like Rodan. Or how about turning an evil Alan Moore clone into a three-headed dragon like King Ghidorah? Throw in MechaStanzilla, and it'd be a nerd's dream movie.

So now we're getting down to the nitty gritty, as we're within the final three. The next episode will be the last of the season, a two-hour conclusion that will feature the three remaining heroes getting their own action figures, a cameo from ECW star Balls Mahoney, and - most importantly - the announcement of the winner. And since it's a double-length episode, I'm sure it'll be a double-length recap. So you can be looking forward to that. All three would be great winners, but personally, I'm pulling for Hyper-Strike.

It's not too late for them to give a comic book to Major Victory from last season, is it?

Money Well Spent

I believe it's safe to say that I'm in a pretty good mood right now. Why, you may ask? I just got the first season of Heroes in the mail from Amazon.com about fifteen minutes ago. Considering that the suggested retail price is 60 bucks, and that most places are probably offering it for 45 or 50, I'm pretty satisfied that it only set me back $37.25.

But yeah, I think I'm going to be stuck in front of the television for the next few days, watching all the stuff in this set. Even if it was just all the episodes lumped together on a couple of bare-bones DVDs, it'd still be worthy of a purchase. The show's that good.

The new season starts three weeks from yesterday, and I'm totally looking forward to that. It makes me wish I had a TiVo (or a DVR in general, for that matter), so I wouldn't have to wait a day or two to download it because I decided to watch Monday Night Raw instead, but eh, what can you do?

So I'm going to go enjoy my new DVD set. I haven't even watched any of it yet, but I nonetheless have to quote the great philosopher Ferris Bueller: "If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up."

That Review's Finally Done

As promised on Saturday, here's my newest review. This one's for Clint Eastwood's Mystic River, which I loved and gave an extremely positive critique. I just hope that it turned out to be a good read.

So go check it out, and enjoy your Labor Day.

I'm A Lazy Writer

My writing is coming a lot slower than I assumed it would, which is kind of a bummer now that I think about it. I got a movie in from Netflix a week ago, and I think I've gone two or three days now without adding so much as a word to that review I've been working on. I really should quit slacking off and finish it up. The thing is that I'm actually almost done with it, too; I've only got two paragraphs plus the conclusion left to write, which really shouldn't be too tough. If I really sit down to work, I might be able to knock that out in the next day or two. I hopefully won't leave it sitting around another week, since I've got other movies in my Netflix queue I'd like to see.

And I still can't hype the upcoming "Sutton At The Arcade" event enough. I currently have two of the movies in my possession thanks to Wal-Mart's discount racks, and the rest currently occupy spots four through ten in my Netflix queue, so they'll certainly be coming soon. I'm not sure whether or not I really want to set a particular target date for all three of you readers to expect them, but I'm hoping I can get them done no later than Halloween. Or maybe Thanksgiving. Could be Christmas if I take my time. I'll at least have them done between now and the beginning of 2008.

Maybe.