Worst. Superheroes. EVER.

I managed to catch part of the first episode of Stan Lee's new reality show Who Wants To Be A Superhero? last night, and... it's different.

The dorks on this show have come up with some of the silliest gimmicks ever. Monkey Woman? Cell Phone Girl? I thought Squirrel Girl and Speedball were goofy, but those are just stupid. Now if Monkey Woman was a cross between Beast and Tarzan, I could accept it. And what is Cell Phone Girl's power? Giving someone a brain tumor via radiation?

And then there was their test at the end of the episode. The test the potential superheroes had to undertake also proved that most of them might not have what it takes to be superheroes. See, they were told their objective was to see how fast they could inconspicuously change into their superhero outfits before running across this city plaza to a designated checkpoint. But there was a catch. There's always a catch. See, as the heroes ran through the plaza, they'd have to pass this little girl crying for her mother. Unbeknownst to the heroes, she was the real objective. Those who stopped to help her succeeded, those who passed her failed. And get this, something like two-thirds of the heroes ran right past her. What kind of hero ignores a crying child? Now this one guy, who looks like the hero from God of War with a giant laser gun mounted on his arm, I could buy him running by. He looks like the kind of guy who'd be way too focused on kicking the everloving snot out of some supervillain. That poor crying child would probably be caught up in the crossfire and collateral damage and whatnot.

And let's not forget the one superhero that decided to change into his costume right out in the open. Unless he's The Flash or Superman and could change his clothes in less than a second, he'd have to be a freaking moron to change out in front of everybody. And considering that he ran past the little girl too, it's no wonder that he got eliminated.

This show has "train wreck" written all over it, and I'm totally going to watch it every week.

Writing Is All I Talk About

Just about every time I try to come up with a new post, all I can think of talking about is writing. And why is that? I'm so burned out, and even when I think I'm totally sick of it, it's still all I can post about here. It's crazy.

I don't consider myself to be all that much of a writer. I'm certainly not as creative or as talented as others, and I do wonder about the quality of my writing on occasion, but writing has been stuck on my mind a lot lately.

Sometimes I really do want to write, to work on that script, to pop in a movie and crank out something new for Sutton At The Movies. But sometimes I get the feeling that I simply can't be bothered to write much of anything. I don't know why that is, or what it's all about, but it really bugs me.

I do want to get back into writing my reviews sometiimes, mostly because I don't want S@TM to collect too much dust. Besides, I know some of you readers actually like them. As I've said a few times in the past, I'd like to review Jackie Brown sometime, and I'm planning on reviewing both the old and new versions of When A Stranger Calls (or at least the remake, in any event). But it's all a matter of working up my inspiration. Shouldn't be too long, I hope.

And I think that's all I've got for this post. Maybe next time, I can find a topic that I haven't hammered into the ground. That dead horse is starting to get deader. So until I come up with something else, I'm out for now.

Next Time, I'm Hiding In The Trunk

As it stands right now, I should probably be heading to bed because it's been kind of a long night. I mean, it's just after 2:00 in the morning and with the exception of a few minutes (and the time it took to walk from my front door to my computer here now), I've been sitting in a car for the last five hours or so. But because you're such a wonderful audience, I don't want to wait until morning to make this post. It's gonna be quick since I'm spent, but I'll make it with what I have. So get your golden ticket ready, Charlie, because we're headed to the chocolate factory.

My usual partner in crime Mo called up tonight, informing me of this drive-in theater in Harrodsburg he'd heard opened back up. I'd never been to one before, so we went to check it out. So we get there at 9:30, just before their double feature started. I didn't really have any interest in seeing You, Me, and Dupree or Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, but hey, I'm all for new experiences.

As a lover of the cinematic arts, seeing a movie at a drive-in is something I'd been wanting to do for quite a while. And at five bucks a ticket (which, by my math, equates to $2.50 per movie), I'm not going to argue with that. It's definitely something I'd like to do again in the future, and something I would recommend to anyone fortunate enough to have a drive-in theater nearby.

And as for my usual mini-reviews, You, Me, and Dupree was tremendous, with Owen Wilson stealing the show as usual. And while I'm not a fan of the series (and I haven't seen more than a few minutes of either of the previous two), Fast and the Furious 3 was way more entertaining than it had any right to be. I'll give them four and three stars respectively. Though I must admit that perhaps the experience of seeing the movies at a drive-in made them a lot better than they would have been at a traditional theater. But I'll stand by those stars for the time being.

I'm absolutely worn out, so I'm heading to bed. Out for now, y'all.

Writing Is Way Too Stressful

Not a whole lot going on lately. I don't want to do another "I got nothing" post right now, so I'll just see where this one takes me. So come on, Alice, let's jump down the rabbit hole.

I'm still on my self-imposed writing hiatus, but after seeing Clerks 2, I'm feeling a little more inspired. I don't quite know how I'll translate that inspiration to something a wee bit more tangible, but I think I might be able to work something out once I get back in the game.

The way it's looking right now, I've come up with the idea of doing the script in the same vein as the Clerks movies or Super Troopers; basically, a bunch of skits cobbled together and sewn up with a common plot. I believe I've talked about this before, but the thought is still there.

It's mostly just a matter of coming up with these skits. There's a few bits from various sources I'd like to steal for my own usage, and there's also a little bit I wrote about a year or so ago that I want to use. It mainly comes down to how I'm going to use these things.

There are also a few ideas and a few characters I have, but as I said, it all depends on how I use them. I'm also having second thoughts about my concept: characters in a Wal-Mart all night. I really don't know how I'll make it work. Maybe if I did it a little differently, perhaps chopping the narrative into several days instead of one, or maybe shifting the action to more than one building during the movie. Hmm...

Perhaps it was a good idea that I took that break. Writing is incredibly stressful.

I Assure You, We're Open!

Caught the 1:40 showing of Clerks 2 in Danville, and it was excellent.

The movie succeeds in bringing the View Askewniverse full circle, and it achieves a certain sentimentality that makes it all the more endearing. Yes, it's raunchy, and how it got an R rating with no edits is beyond me, but behind all the vulgarities is a lot of heart. Dante and Randal are stuck in the same rut that we last saw them in during the previous Clerks (albeit with a change of scenery), but the way they individually deal with it is what makes the characters engaging and able to be related to.

The cast is entertaining, which is helped by Kevin Smith's hilarious-as-usual script (though that musical number is oddly out of place). Smith's direction is also top notch, and when it's all said and done, it's my belief that Clerks 2 is a wonderful note for these characters to go out on. So to make a long story short, Clerks 2 gets a much-earned four stars from yours truly.

And on a personal note, Clerks 2 was quite satisfying because I actually got to see my name up on the screen among the MySpace friends listed at the end of the movie's credits. I almost missed it, since it had almost scrolled up to the top of the screen by the time I caught it. But no foolin', it's right there. I wish I had some kind of screen capture device to snag it once the DVD comes out, but alas, I'll have to survive. In any regard, my name is listed in the credits of a real Hollywood movie, so if I died today, I would go to my grave satisfied.

Rambling To Kill Time

Am I the only one who has a rough time thinking up topics for posts on slow days? Because that's where I'm at right now.

I'm not really sure what I where I want to go with this right now. I've done the wrestling and comics posts in the last few days, I threw in one or two "hey, I saw a movie" posts, and the rest of the month has been spent talking about writing that blasted script. But tonight, I'm totally lost for something to post about.

Though I must admit, it could be a lot worse. There were times a few years ago when I averaged three or four posts a month, sometimes getting as little as one post a month. The dark days of 2002 really didn't help much with blog productivity, which is why I'm glad the whole blog thing took off in 2003, so I could have some "competition" to help motivate me. So now, instead of no posts, you get posts where I talk about not having anything to talk about. And since my posts have improved a thousand-fold in the last four years, I have both quantity and quality. Why would I argue with that?

Huh, I guess I worked up something resembling a post after all. And that's good enough for me.

Super Movies

Taking a cue from Libby, let's briefly venture into the world of the superheroic for a while, shall we?

It was announced yesterday that Frank Miller had been hired to write and direct a movie based on The Spirit, who I actually had never heard of until Libby mentioned him on Tuesday. And it got me to thinking, what other superheroes could use movies?

Naturally, there's the big ones like Captain America, Thor, Green Lantern, and The Flash. But what about some of the heroes that get lost in the shuffle? Silver Surfer is going to turn up in the next Fantastic Four movie, so he isn't a problem. But there's guys like Swamp Thing and Dr. Strange that could use decent movies, but are usually forgotten about because studios are more wont to make movies based on cerified cash cows like Superman or the X-Men.

But I guess Hollywood would want to get all the A-list comic properties out of the way first. Joss Whedon is doing Wonder Woman, Christopher Nolan is prepping the Batman Begins sequel, David Goyer has said he wants to do a Flash movie, and there's Fantastic Four 2 and the Magneto and Wolverine spinoffs all coming sooner or later. Why not break out characters like the Martian Manhunter or Hawkman, or even someone not as well-known like Night Thrasher. Heck, why not do two or three more Superman movies, then reboot Supergirl's movie franchise? There's plenty of properties that could be used if Hollywood only chose to do them.

Maybe one of these days, we'll even get movies based on the Justice League or the Avengers, but it's all up to Hollywood.

Thoughts on ECW

You know, I think writing a post that doesn't concern movies or the script is going to be tough. I haven't done that in a while, but I think I can knock one out.

So ECW is halfway through their twelve-week contract with the Sci-Fi Channel, and I wouldn't be surprised if Sci-Fi extended the contract when it comes up for renewal. From all appearances, the show is one of the highest rated programs on the network, so it would make sense to keep it on. High ratings equates to higher advertising revenue, so Sci-Fi would be stupid to cancel a hit show just three months into its run.

But I didn't come here to talk about ratings. I wanted to talk about the show's lackluster writing. It's obvious that WWE has pegged ECW to be its C-level show, but that doesn't mean the writers have to half-ass everything. It's taken them this long to finally set up feuds and make that dumb stripper's segments be worth something. I'll admit that I couldn't do much better, but do we really need stupid characters like a stripper when we know we'll never see the goods as long as the show is on basic cable? Do we need a vampire and a tarot card reader that never do anything? Come on, WWE, throw me a bone.

There isn't much that can be done with what is essentially 45 minutes of air time after commercials, but they could at least give certain recurring segments the week off once in a while in order to put other things over. Why not give the Knox/Sandman/Kelly thing some time off and debut CM Punk, Shannon Moore, or the vampire?

And why spend so much time feuding with Raw and Smackdown? It makes ECW's whole roster look week if wrestlers from Raw and Smackdown are coming in every week to challenge for the ECW title. Aren't there any ECW guys who deserve a title shot? The whole ECW vs. WWE thing is going to get old, unless this whole thing with Paul E., Dreamer, and Test is just a setup to build Dreamer as the next contender for the title.

I want the new ECW to succeed, I really do. And with ECW getting a pay-per-view event in December, I don't see them falling off the radar until at least after the new year, if they do at all. I've also accepted that we'll never have the old ECW back, though I still have faith that WWE's ECW can improve and become decent, watchable TV.

I hope so, anyway.

Time For A Break

You know, it just came to my attention that I've completely forgotten about Sutton At The Movies lately. I got so wrapped up in other projects that I haven't even thought about writing at all, let alone what I'd write next.

Usually after I wrap up a review, I like to relax for a little while, then ponder what review is next. But since I posted the two Hills Have Eyes reviews three or four weeks ago, I haven't put any thought into what's next at all.

Maybe I got so wrapped up in worrying about the script that I burned myself out. I've no been very anxious to write lately, so perhaps that could be it? There's also the fact that I'm up to 116 reviews. Now I'm no Roger Ebert or Leonard Maltin, but to somebody like me, writing almost 120 reviews over three years is a lot of work. And sometimes, I just need a break.

I miss writing my reviews, and I want to keep writing them as long as people keep wanting to read them. But I think I'm going to take a break from writing for a while to recharge my batteries. I must admit, the blog might be a lot less interesting without all that talk about writing. It seems like all I've talked about for the last month.

But I'm sure I'll be able to make things interesting somehow.

Okay, Here's A Post Not About The Script

Finally, I have something to talk about other than that infernal script for a change.

Myself and the usual suspects went up to Lexington to check out a new theater that just opened up a few weeks ago. Our options came down to either seeing Superman Returns a second time, or seeing Pirates of the Caribbean 2. Since neither I or my partner in crime have seen the original Pirates in its entirety (and thus probably wouldn't understand Pirates 2's plot), we opted for Superman Returns.

[The next paragraph might contain spoilers. Be warned.]

The first time I saw it, I was impressed with the quality of both its acting and visual effects. The second time around, I was still impressed. However, I have to talk about something. Could the messianic allegory been any more blatant? All that talk of saviors, Superman catching a sign that apparently says "Grace" along with the globe atop the Daily Planet (effectively holding the whole world in his hands, like the song), Jor-El's "I have sent them you, my only son" spiel, Superman falling to Earth with the arms-outstretched Christ pose, and even Superman apparently dying and coming back to life. Okay, so Superman is kinda like Jesus, I get it. I didn't need to be hammered over the head with it.

But all in all, I stand by my four-star review from two weeks ago.

[Okay, no more spoiler warning.]

In other news, that new theater was really nice. I'm already making plans to go see Clerks 2 (and possibly Lady in the Water) there next week. Unfortunately, trips to that theater will be not-so-often occurances because it's an hour's drive away. I really wish we could get a theater in this county, but we're so backwoods, we didn't even get a McDonald's until two or three years ago. Washington County, Kentucky, just may be the land that time forgot.

And that's about it for now. Out.

Yes, More Writing Stuff

I made some progress on the script since my last post. I've only worked out a few pages, but at least that's something. Right? Right.

I'm still not sure exactly where I'm heading with it, but I figure I'll know where I'm heading once I get there. As long as I can get at least 85 or 90 pages, I think I'll be okay. I might want to aim for an even 100 pages just to be on the safe side, but whatever works works, I suppose.

But to be truthful, I'm not in any huge rush to really finish it anytime soon. It's mostly just for my own entertainment, and just to see if I could actually write it.

And that's all the news that's fit to print for now.

Creativity Is Overrated

I may have gotten in over my head with this script.

I have no idea what I'm going to do with this thing. I don't know what direction I want to take it in, I can't think of any sort of cognizant narrative, and I'm completely, totally stuck. How do you creative types do it? I just can't come up with anything that helps advance the plot or anything like that.

I really don't know if I'll be able work this out. Outside of that one Dynamite Kudo story I had the idea for, I really struggle with creativity. I really wish I could come up with some way for this to turn out, but I really can't think of anything at all. I have no problem with dialogue or anything like that,

Now if I could do something directly inspired by something else, like a book or a remake of another movie, I could probably take care of it. But as it stands, efforts will have to be tripled in order for me to go anywhere with it.

Thank God I have myself until 2012, because it'll take me until then.

I'll Get It Done One of These Days

As I pointed out before, writing a film script is tougher than I initially believed. I can handle dialogue if I know what kind of flow I'm aiming for, but all that other stuff - like scene setups and all that jazz - is not something that comes easily for me.

You know, in retrospect, perhaps I could have written up a treatment for my script first. For the unfamiliar, a "treatment" is somewhere between a basic outline and a short story, which a script writer uses to better flesh out his or her script. I'm not quite ten pages deep, so perhaps it isn't too late to back up a little and take care of that. I'd like to know where I'm headed, so perhaps a treatment is in order?

Any of you other, more talented writers out there are free to pitch ieas for scenes, lines of dialogue, characters, whatever. Be my guest. And it might take me a while, but I'm planning on getting this done sometime. My unofficial deadline is my 30th birthday, so I've got until 2012 to knock it out. Six years is plenty of time, right?

Blogger's Gone Weird

This is a little crazy... I have a word verification thing on my blog now, and I have to type in the little squiggly numbers and letters every time I want to publish a post now.

Apparently, some of Blogger's wonderful technology thought this was a spam blog. Maybe because of all the links to the old Tripod blog? Maybe all the links in general? I'm not 100% sure.

I know for a fact that this isn't a spam blog, or anything of the sort. And while the word verification thing is a minor annoyance at worst, adding an extra step to getting posts up is a pain.

Hopefully this can be remedied. I don't feel like verifying everything when I want to post, but I guess I'll have to get used to it for now.

More Movie Talk

My desire to post outweighs my typical laziness, so here's some reading material.

I haven't put a whole lot of work or effort into the script lately. I've gotten maybe a page of dialogue, and that's it. I'm on Page 6, with about 84 to go before it's standard length. I have an idea or two for directions I'd like to take it, but that kind of thing is rougher than I thought it'd be. Perhaps I should have thought this through first?

I'm not really worried if the thing ever gets maid, I just want to see if I can get it written. And I really do want to write it, but I'm finding it tough to really motivate myself. I don't really have much life experience to use, but I'm sure I can think of something.

More sometime later.

It's A Start, At Least

My earlier post wasn't exactly a happy one, so I figure a second post is in order so that can be remedied.

That script I was trying to write is coming along at a snail's pace. It took me forever to come up with names for the first four characters introduced, but I did manage to knock out nearly five pages once I got that taken care of.

I'm stuck in the middle of the second scene, and I'm not quite sure how I want it to progress. I had an idea of spoofing the opening credits of Reservoir Dogs in scene three, but I haven't quite figured out how I'd get there, nor have I completely sold myself on the idea of doing it.

I've also thought of doing something similar to Super Troopers, where it's a bunch of skits stitched together with a skeleton frame of a plot. The only bad parts are that 1.) Super Troopers was written by five guys, and I'm just one; and 2.) the Broken Lizard members are funnier than myself. But I figure I could hammer something out once I got it all settled.

I might put the script on hold for a little while, just to give myself some time to prepare. I don't really know what direction I'm headed in, or what I'm doing in general, but I think I'll be able to make it work sooner or later. Even if it doesn't work out, I can at least give it a shot, right?

Right.

Happy Birthday, America

Today is going to be such a boring, slow, awful day.

There is absolutely nothing for me to do today. No cookouts to go to, no fireworks to see (since for some stupid reason, everybody set them off last night), so unless something changes, I'm stuck in the house watching a Star Trek marathon and being bored as hell.

Is there anybody with a time machine that can pick me up and take me to last night so I can actually see some fireworks? It's already silly to celebrate American independence by firing off Chinese fireworks, but not even doing it on the right day is absurd. Did I misread my calendar? Is today really the 5th of July? I guess it's just something else to prove my theory: "people are stupid."

Lamentations of a Would-Be Filmmaker

You may or may not remember the brief talk of a "Sutton At The Movies: The Movie" in the comments two weeks ago. Let's discuss that for a little while, shall we?

I've been wanting to write my own movie for some time, but unfortunately, nothing has come of it yet. It's mostly a big combination of writer's block and a total lack of originality on my part. What I'd like to do is something akin to Clerks, Mallrats, and Office Space, but everything I come up with ends up being a total Xerox copy of them. I'll admit I'm not the most talented writer there is, but you'd think I could come up with something that was in the same style without totally ripping them off.

Sure, I could always do a total ripoff. That never stopped anybody before. But where's the fun in that? I'd rather do something original, but still keep the vibe I'm aiming for. I mean, Waiting was a Clerks-esque movie without totally stealing from Clerks, so why couldn't I do something like that?

I do have some ideas for certain characters and set pieces, but I've been unable to really come up with anything major. I keep a file full of dialogue I'd like to use, and I wouldn't mind aping the "lost scene" from the big Clerks X DVD, but I've just been struggling to put two and two together. You writers out there know what I mean, right?

And then the idea of writing a movie leads to the much more ambitious idea of actually producing it. Would it be something I could make for a few thousand dollars with some friends and a high-end camcorder? Or would it be something I should shop around to people who know what they're doing?

I don't know the first thing about making a movie, but if I'm sure I could if I had to. However, I have to bang out the script first. I guess I have to start somewhere, but that first step is a doozy.