Did The Movie Just Tell Me I Suck?

So I just got back from seeing Wanted, the new action movie starring Angelina Jolie, Morgan Freeman, and some guy I've never heard of. James McAvoy, I think his name is. Anyway, I saw Wanted, so I figure I might as well talk about it here.

Wanted is big, loud, badly edited, unbelievably clichéd, and downright silly... but it's still a lot of fun. I've never read the comic book the movie was based on, so I can't compare the two, but Wanted has just about everything you could ever want out of a movie like this. There's lots and lots and lots of car chases and shootouts, a paper-thin plot, and a few explosions, which is enough for Wanted. The only real problem with the movie is the camerawork and editing. The action scenes look like they were filmed by a cameraman who's in the middle of a horrific seizure, and edited by someone with ADD who's hopped up on a cocktail of cocaine and Red Bull. A hummingbird couldn't follow half of this movie.

Well, that isn't exactly the only thing I didn't like about the movie. I hated the ending so much. The movie had me all the way up until maybe the last sixty seconds, then it really took a crazy turn. (Now here's a spoiler alert, so skip to the last paragraph right now if you don't want to know anything.) Wanted concludes with James McAvoy's character getting revenge against all those who wronged him, and he wraps things up with a monologue that kicks the everloving crap out of the fourth wall. I don't remember it word for word, but I'll paraphrase: "I used to be nothing. I used to be a complete loser... just like you. But now, I'm fulfilling my life's purpose. I'm saving the world, one dead body at a time. What the [F-bomb] have you done lately?"

Excuse me, what?! What was that?! Why would I want to pay good money to go watch a movie, only to have it call me out like that? I don't care if that was taken from the comics, because having the lead character make fun of the audience after we just spent two hours rooting for him is the most asinine thing I can think of. Call me crazy, but that completely ruined the whole movie for me. I have enough people that think I'm a slacker, so I don't want to spend seven bucks so a movie tell me what I can have real life people tell me for free. Watching Wanted is like riding the most awesome roller coaster on the planet, then when the ride is over, someone shows up and punches you in the nuts. That's not cool, Wanted! What did I ever do to you? Seriously, words hurt. You might want to remember that little lesson if they ever make Wanted 2. (Before anybody says anything, yes, I'm pretty sure that line was making some kind of point about the theme of the movie, but it's still friggin' retarded.)

So yeah, that pretty much sums up my feelings about Wanted. It's an entertaining movie for the most part, but it just isn't worth paying seven dollars to see. My suggestion would be to see a cheap matinee, wait to rent it on DVD, or just download it off the Internet. On the patent-pending World Famous Five-Star Sutton Scale, Wanted is worth around three stars. And that's about the long and short of it.

Would You Believe...

Yours truly made a trip back to the movies last night, hitting the local cineplex to scope out the cinematic adaptation of the old '60s television show Get Smart. And if you haven't seen it yet, go see it now, because it's the best comedy of the year so far.

I can't really say that I was all that familiar with the TV show. I've never actually seen an episode. I knew it was a comedy about spies, and that there was a telephone built into a shoe. But other than that, I didn't know anything about Get Smart. So I went in with practically no expectations at all. After seeing it, I have to admit that it's some of the most fun I've had watching a movie. Steve Carrell is awesome, while Anne Hathaway and Dwayne Johnson (or "The Actor Formerly Known As The Pro Wrestler Called 'The Rock'," if you prefer) are both really funny too. But it should be noted that for all those three do, Alan Alda practically steals nearly every seen he's in.

Alda is awesome, but I can say that about the whole movie. I can't heap enough praise upon Get Smart, it's that good. So I'm going to throw out four stars on my world famous patent-pending Five Star Sutton Scale and give it a big thumbs up.

Hulk Smash!

Went out to the theater again this afternoon for a showing of the new Incredible Hulk movie, appropriately titled The Incredible Hulk. And I don't know if I'd call it as good as Iron Man, but it's close. Very close.

The movie is definitely an improvement over Ang Lee's attempt at a Hulk movie back in 2003. It forgoes the cartoony feeling of the original, as well as the brooding existentialism that seemed prevalent there. It's mainly an action movie starring a giant green man whose explosive temper has a short fuse. Sure, there's our moments of plot and characterization, but the creative forces behind this flick make sure to keep it from getting in the way of all the awesome action.

Not only is that aforementioned action great, but the cast is quite good as well, with Edward Norton and Tim Roth as the standout players. I also enjoyed the little nods to the comics (mainly the references to Nick Fury, SHIELD, Stark Industries, the Avengers, and a particular character's eventual evolution into a villain), along with the fun cameos from Stan Lee, Lou Ferrigno, and Robert Downey Jr. (and Bill Bixby too, if you count the stock footage from The Courtship of Eddie's Father that shows up in the movie).

So yeah, I thought the movie is really entertaining. Can't really complain about it. So on my world famous patent pending Five-Star Sutton Scale, I think I'll put The Incredible Hulk at around four stars. Go check it out, folks.

Happy Friday The 13th

Howdy, folks, and welcome back to the MSX. I hope everybody is having a fine Friday the 13th so far.

You longtime readers - all two of you - know I'm a sucker for scary movies. I've been a fan of the genre for a long time, so long that it's hard for me to remember a time when I didn't watch horror movies. Because of that, Friday the 13th is kind of a big deal for yours truly. When I was growing up, my favorite horror movies were the Friday the 13th series. It seems like not a weekend went by when I wasn't going to the local "mom and pop" video store to rent either a Friday the 13th movie or a wrestling video. (It helped that the store conveniently kept the horror movies and the wrestling videos next to each other.) I don't watch the movies as often as I used to, but I've since made it a little tradition to watch at least one every Friday the 13th. Still haven't decided which one I'll pick to watch today, but it's early. There's plenty of day left.

I'm really not a hundred percent sure what drew me to the Friday the 13th franchise all those years ago. I can't say it was the Internet that got me excited about it, since I'd never even heard of something like the Internet when I'd got into the movies. I tend to blame my affection for those movies on television shows like the USA Network's Up All Night and TNT's MonsterVision. I never got the chance to see Elvira's old horror show, but Rhonda Shear and Joe Bob Briggs were good enough for me. I loved Up All Night and MonsterVision, even if I did have to stay up until the wee hours of the night to watch them. It was these shows that helped craft my affection for not only the Friday the 13th franchise, but for silly B-movies like the Toxic Avengers movies and the horror genre as a whole. The movies were fun to watch back then, and still are today.

And really, shouldn't movies be fun?

People Are Strange When You're A Stranger

I have to say that I enjoy going out to the movies. Sure, the seats aren't always that comfortable, and the prices for tickets and snacks are outrageous. And then there's the morons who'll talk during the movie and the rare occasion where it seems like the projectionist has no clue what they're doing. But still, I do like going to movie theaters.

I say all that because I hit the road last night and caught The Strangers. The plot sounds a lot like the recently released Funny Games, in that some psychos trap two or three innocent people in their house and royally screw with them with the intent of killing them by the end of the movie. But considering I have yet to actually see Funny Games, I can't compare it to The Strangers. But if they're anything alike, then Funny Games can't be too bad, because I really liked The Strangers.

There's a few parts that didn't really work, like the cheap jump scare that ends the movie. But aside from the small handful of weak moments, I thought the movie was quite effective. There's plenty of jump scares, which could get tiresome after a while, but it's counterbalanced by a healthy heaping of suspense. The really creepy thing about The Strangers is that you never clearly see the faces of the villains, and the only motive they give is "because [the victims] were home." The idea that these three people, who could be anybody, are terrorizing poor Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman for no good reason at all is frightening in and of itself. At least, that idea scares me.

Overall, I have to say that I liked The Strangers. Are there some things about it that I would change if I could? Yeah. But you could say that about almost every movie. The Strangers is a rare movie in an era where most horror movies are sequels or remakes. It's an original movie that, if you let it get under your skin, is pretty darn scary. So if I'm going with three and a half stars on my patent-pending World Famous Five-Star Sutton Scale. And let it be known that The Strangers is a prime example of why you should have a peephole installed in your front door.