Cracking Safes And Skulls

My dad and I both really dig the action movie output of Jason Statham, so yesterday we headed out to see his newest movie, Safe. And although I didn't feel it was as good as I'd hoped it would be, mostly because I thought the plot was poorly handled, I still thought the flick was an entertaining way to spend 90 minutes.

Considering that the movie didn't perform so well at the box office this past weekend, I doubt you've seen it. But if you enjoy action movies where one guy beats the everloving crap out of the cops and two different gangs of mobsters, then it's definitely up your alley. It might seem like a bad knockoff of Leon: The Professional, considering the plot centers around a total badass protecting an endangered little girl, but Safe still manages to deliver some solid action. The only truly bad part is that director Boaz Yakin falls back on that damnable action trope of quick editing and shaking the camera around all over the place. Is it so hard to let the audience see what the heck is happening?! The whole thing didn't make it any more exciting, just headache-inducing.

But although I left the theater feeling a little disappointed, I can't say that I didn't like Safe. I mean, I wanted to see Jason Statham beating up bad guys, and I got it. So in spite of the annoying shaky-cam stuff and the story that brings up intriguing plot setups then completely forgets about them 30 minutes into the movie, I'm going to give Safe three stars on my typical scale. Maybe give it a rental when it hits Redbox or Netflix, but don't feel too bad if you miss it during its theatrical run.

Happy Friday the 13th!

Never once have I ever shied away from the fact that I'm a fan of horror movies. And while Halloween may be the biggest day of the year for we horror fans, I've also always been really fond of Friday the 13th. And if you haven't been paying to the calendar, that would be today. While the only thing that connects Friday the 13th to horror movies is the Friday the 13th movies, that's all I need to consider the day another horror holiday.

I've loved the Friday the 13th movies since I was a little kid. I remember being 11 years old and begging my dad to take me to see Jason Goes to Hell, only to get shot down because of my age. I guess the only reason my parents would let me get away with watching them on TV is because they were the edited versions that MonsterVision and USA Up All Night ran. (Though that doesn't explain why they'd regularly allow me to rent them from the local video store. Such are the quandaries of life, I guess.)

I'm not sure why I fell in love with the Friday the 13th movies. It's been so long hat I can't remember the details. But I can certainly recall spending my weekends glued to the television whenever a channel dared to run the movies. I'm actually quite sad that I've been channel-surfing for a few hours now and haven't seen a single one of the movies yet. (I own all of the DVDs, so it should be no big deal, but it's the principal of the thing.) Nobody's even showing that Friday the 13th TV show that nobody remembers. I guess not even the remake a few years back could reinvigorate Jason.

That's a damn shame too, because the franchise has always been something I've had a ton of affection for. I'd always hoped that when they ran on TV, someone would see them and become hooked like I did. That's half the fun of these movies with cult followings: sharing them with people and creating new fans.

But perhaps I've rambled on long enough. This has been a heck of a way to spend what is, in all honesty, the 1000th post on the blog you're reading right now. You read that right, after ten and a half long years, I've finally hit 1000 posts. Took me long enough, didn't it? But I guess I'll wrap this up with a simple request: Have a happy Friday the 13th, and stay away from Camp Crystal Lake. It's got a death curse!

Another Piece of Pie

This past Sunday was Easter, a holiday that I spent sitting by myself in a movie theater. While my parents were in another screen watching Wrath of the Titans, I was watching American Reunion. And while I didn't think it was that bad, I left the theater thinking I probably would have had more fun watching The Hunger Games instead.

The latest in the American Pie franchise, American Reunion is much like high school reunions in real life. You get to catch up with people from your youth that you haven't seen in forever. But the whole movie is just superfluous. There is absolutely zero plot to speak of, which leaves us spending two hours watching a group of actors move around on auto-pilot.

The movie is just one set of gags after another with no moments in between to make us care about the characters. Yeah, a lot of the jokes are funny, but at the same time, they feel forced. Much like how it depicts Seann William Scott's "Stifler" character, American Reunion seems stuck trying to relive the franchise's glory days from back in 1999. It's fun seeing all these characters back on the big screen, but maybe they just have just stayed in the past.

I mean, the American Pie franchise might have been the top dog in comedy back when the first three movies were released. But it's been nine years since the last one (I'm not counting those direct-to-video spinoffs, since American Reunion doesn't count them either), and in that time American Pie has been succeeded by movies like the Harold and Kumar trilogy. and the various works of Judd Apatow. It's fun seeing the American Pie back on the big screen, but maybe they should have just stayed in the past. American Reunion gets two and a half stars and I really can't recommend it unless you're a diehard fan of the franchise.

And in other movie-related news, I hope you've been following the "Sutton at the Movies" blog. I talk a lot more there than I do here.