Happy Halloween... In August?

Well, I just got home a little while ago from seeing Rob Zombie's remake of John Carpenter's classic Halloween. And while I think that it's safe to say that it's better than some of the lame sequels (yeah, I'm looking at you, Halloween: Resurrection), I don't know if I'd say it was all that great of a remake.

I really want to talk about what I liked and didn't like about it, but I'm afraid that I'd spoil things for people. And unless I'm talking about a Uwe Boll movie, I'd like to avoid as many spoilers as I can. But the truth of the matter is that my feelings in regards to the movie are quite mixed. It's as if the movie's a cross between "Michael Myers: The Early Years" and "John Carpenter's Halloween: The Greatest Hits"; I certainly got the impression that Zombie wanted to do his own thing, but got so swept up in doing homages and references to bits from the original movie that he lost sight of doing things his way.

There are things that work in this remake, but there are just as many things that fail as well. It's at least worth a watch; it's disappointing when held up to the absolutely fantastic original film (my review of which you can read here), but it's not an awful movie. It's probably on par with the remake of Black Christmas, so if you liked that, you'd probably like Halloween '07 too. I guess if I had to rate it, I'd give it a three out of five for now, but I'll probably pass a final judgment once I get a chance to see it again.

I also feel like I should point out that I've acquired a copy of the bootlegged workprint version of the movie, which I plan on sitting down and watching at the next available opportunity. I know that the ending is different, and that there's plenty of other differences between that and the version I saw tonight. Looking forward to checking that out.

Snakes And Rats And Spiders, Oh My

Alright, it's time once again for my recap of the most recent episode of Who Wants To Be A Superhero?, the Sci-Fi Channel's wacky pseudo-reality show where regular people are striving to be the next big superhero. Let's not waste any time and get right to the show.

The episode begins with the heroes receiving a news report that stats Doctor Dark is diverting electricity from all over town, causing rolling blackouts. Stan informs them that he's discovered the power is being directed toward a power station on the outskirts of town. When the five heroes arrive at the power station, they're told that if they hope to stop Doctor Dark, they must individually crawl through a tunnel into a darkened room and remove five fuses.

But there's two catches. One is that they only have six minutes in which to do it, and the second is that the room contains things that the heroes are afraid of. So the room has rats, snakes, and spiders, in it, plus it's a bit claustrophobic to boot. They do succeed, and end up getting the job done with five seconds to spare. To commend their bravery, Stan sends them to a Mexican restaurant for a night on the town. And humorously, the night ends with the heroes working off the bill thanks to a lack of money.

The next day, Doctor Doom decides that he's going to borrow a trick from last season's villain, The Dark Enforcer, and reveal a few embarrassing secrets of each hero. And that he does. Those secrets are...

• When someone she had a crush on didn't let her into their house, Whip-Snap spent the entire night sitting outside until she was allowed entry. She also fesses up to once having "confiscated" (i.e. stolen) a friend's car.
• Hygena likes burlesque dancing, prompting Stan to quip, "Are we going to have to put some kind of a stripper pole up in the lair now?" He did create "Stripperella," and Major Victory from last season was a former stripper, so maybe that'd be a good idea.
• During his days with the circus, Hyper-Strike once made a fool of himself when a too-slick floor prevented him from properly attempting a stunt.
• Parthenon has decorated every room in his house with a separate theme, one of which is pirates.
• The Defuser didn't graduate from high school with his classmates because he was always goofing around, and during his police training, he got loaded and destroyed a public bathroom.

After these revelations come out, Stan decides it's time for the heroes to fill out their mission reports. Revealed in the mission reports: The Defuser and Parthenon are believed to be the strongest, Whip-Snap overreacts under pressure, Hygena underperforms, and over half think that Whip-Snap is the least heroic. Notably, Hyper-Strike pulls Whip-Snap aside and admits to saying he thought she was the weakest contestant, saying that the only reason he told her was because he felt it could encourage her to perform better.

And now it is time for the elimination ceremony. Called up to the chopping block are the Defuser, because Stan believed he disrespected himself by giving a fan a piece of his costume at the Mexican restaurant; Whip-Snap, whose self-doubt seems to be getting the best of her; and Hygena, because her fears have negatively affected her performance. Ultimately, it is Whip-Snap who is sent home.

With the episode coming to an end, we see that Doctor Dark managed to siphon enough power to bring his evil Stan Lee clone to life. Awesome, they're doing a Bizarro Stan after all.

That's it for this episode. There are only two or three more episodes left after this one, so I think things might be heading into the home stretch within the next few weeks. Things are starting to heat up too, now that we're down to just four contestants. The ones that are left have all grown on me as the season's gone on, so I'd be satisfied with any of them winning. We'll just have to see how it goes, won't we?

Future Writing Plans

I figure I might as well do a post that doesn't involve me recapping the latest Who Wants To Be A Superhero? episode, since it feels like I'm doing more of the recaps than I am anything else. I need to get around to doing more posts, anyway. So let's talk about some stuff, shall we?

All I've really got to talk about is my writing projects, truth be told. The preparation for "Sutton At The Arcade" is coming along relatively smoothly, and after I finish up the small handful of reviews I have in front of it, I'll jump right into the thick of those video game movies. I'm really looking forward to "Sutton At The Arcade" too, since it'll afford me the opportunity to watch some movies I haven't seen in a while or that I've been wanting to see to begin with. (I'm particularly anticipating watching the Super Mario movie again, to be perfectly honest about it.)

I've also been making plans for a big review after that big batch. I may or may not have mentioned in the past that I wasn't sure how I was going to review Grindhouse, since it's being divided into two parts - with extra footage and without all the gimmicks from the theatrical release - for the DVD release. Now I've actually come up with an idea that I'd like to believe is pretty novel. I'm trying to download Grindhouse as we speak, and if it turns out okay, my idea is to review Grindhouse, then review the separate, extended cuts of Planet Terror and Death Proof once I can acquire the DVDs. I'm sure there'd be plenty of overlapping in the reviews, but I think it'll be neat to turn this one double feature into three reviews. So I just hope that this torrent of Grindhouse I'm downloading is watchable, so I won't feel like I've wasted my time. Know what I mean?

And I believe that's all I've got for this one. Hopefully, I'll be able to work something into another post between now and my next Who Wants To Be A Superhero? recap. Since I really should post more often, shouldn't I?

Jumping The Shark In A Single Bound

Okey dokey folks, here's the recap of last Thursday's episode of Who Wants To Be A Superhero? for your reading pleasure.

As always, the episode picks up where the previous week's left off. The lair has been robbed, the secret identities of the heroes have been stolen, along with the pencil Stan Lee write his first comic with. Okay, two things. One, why was that pencil there and not at Stan's house up on his mantle? And two, would he even still have that thing in the first place? He wrote his first comic forty years ago. But anyway, the stress of the robbery causes Whip-Snap to have a breakdown. Since we can't go one episode this season without somebody being an emotional wreck.

Stan gets ahol of them the next morning, revealing that among the stolen goods was a check for 50,000 bucks from Esurance that was intended for the Friends of the Urban Forest charity. Again, why was that in their safe? What did that have to do with them at all? So it's up to the heroes to find the check. And to help them out, Stan is sending Erin Esurance their way to run intel. Yes, Erin Esurance, the pink-haired secret agent from the commercials. You hear that sound? That's the sound of a superhero dressed like Fonzie jumping over a shark on a motorcycle. Erin directs the heroes to a city thoroughfare, where a courier will be passing off the stolen items to one of Doctor Dark's henchmen. Their mission: to find three pieces of clothing - a shirt or jacket, pants, and shoes - to form a disguise, then intercept the courier (with the code phrase, "I need ears, can I have yours?") within fifteen minutes.

So the heroes go about tracking down their disguises, but as soon as they acquire them, they're given another mission: a lady walking around asking for her missing child. Just like last season's debut episode, we've got a challenge involving a lost kid. Of course, the heroes are supposed to help the lady, naturally.

Anyway, Partheon ends up finding the courier and retrieves the package, but finds that the pencil wasn't in there. Oh well, at least they have the Esurance check and their secret identities, and two out of three isn't bad. As they leave, Stan sends them to a comic book shop (with various Dark Horse comics subtly highlighted in the background), and presents them with poster-sized versions of their own comic covers. They also get some kind words from Dark Horse's president too.

They get back to the lair and start discussing their searches for their disguises. Defuser brings up the lady with the missing kid, and he and the others all mention that they thought helping her was the most heroic thing... except for Basura, who feels kinda stupid since she blew the lady off. Stan butts in after a while and reveals that since Parthenon found the courier, he gets to call home. He also gets to choose another hero to call home, too. He ends up choosing Hygena, and they make their calls home; Parthenon to his boyfriend, while Hygena calls her husband. After the calls, it's time for the heroes to do their mission reports, in which we learn that the heroes believe that the Defuser is too quick to seize control, and that Defuser believes that both Whip-Snap is missing something and that Hyper-Strike hasn't come out of his shell yet. Man, Defuser's a real dick.

But now it's time to cut somebody. On the chopping block are Basura, for failing to help the woman and for not being very assertive; Defuser, for being a jerk to the others; and Hygena, who spent too much time cleaning off her disguise before putting it on. Unfortunatly, leaving the lair is Basura, thus killing the show's cleavage factor. The weird thing is that after turning in her costume, she looks like Ugly Betty. In a good way, I mean. As the episode ends, we see that Doctor Dark has successfuly obtained Stan's DNA from the stolen pencil. Could that mean Bizarro Stan Lee? I hope so.

So after this whole Erin Esurance thing, I really believe the show has come dangerously close to jumping the shark. Maybe that's just because I friggin' hate Esurance commercials. Seriously, if I had the bad luck of going to Hell, I'd be strapped down and forced to watch Esurance, Zwinky, and HeadOn commercials for eternity. But shark jumping or not, I'll still be tuning in for the rest of the episode. I just have to see how it ends.

Cowabunga!

Oh man, it feels like I haven't posted here in forever. Just haven't had anything to say since Wednesday, I guess. I should really work on that.

But I would like to take a little bit of your time and share my brand new review of TMNT. It's only the second animated movie I've ever reviewed (after The Incredibles), so I'd say it's something special. So go check it out, won't you?

Other than that, there's not really much worth talking about. There isn't a whole lot going on around Sutton HQ. I've spent a little time preparing for my "Sutton At The Arcade" thing, which I'm totally looking forward to. But other than that, there's not much to speak of.

And this is all I've got. Wish I had more, but that sort of thing happens, I guess.

Best Lawsuit Ever

It's recently come to my attention that some people are friggin' stupid.

I say that because I just finished reading this story. Apparently, some nutjob in a South Carolina penitentiary is suing Michael Vick for, and I quote, "$63,000,000,000 billion" dollars. You read that right, sixty-three billion billion dollars. Why? Because the nutjob claims Vick sold his dogs on eBay and used the money to purchase missiles from Iran. He also accuses Vick of all kinds of other insane things, including violating several constitutional amendments and other things that I can't repeat because just thinking about them makes me laugh too hard to type. Sir Nutjob wants the money backed by gold and silver, and delivered via UPS to the front gates of the prison. And he wrote the whole thing out by hand too (which you can check out here).

So either this is the best thing to ever happen in the history of time, or the gene pool needs a little more chlorine.

Too Many Projects At Once

Now that I've gotten that Who Wants To Be A Superhero? recap out of the way, you can now go check out my review of Hollywoodland.

Yeah, I've decided not to review The Black Dahlia for now. So sue me. I'll probably get around to it one of these days, I've just got movies that I'd like to review more right now. I've got at least three, maybe four, movies lined up before I start in on that "Sutton At The Arcade" thing I was talking about in my post last Friday. And then I've got a few in the queue after that, so you can say my plate is pretty much full.

I really take on too much at one time when it comes to these things.

Coolest Roller Coaster Ever

Okay, everybody, I guess it's about time I do my recap of the third episode of the second season of Who Wants To Be A Superhero?.

The episode opens just after last week's elimination, with the heroes reflecting on Mindset getting cut. Ms. Limelight comes right out and says she's glad he's gone. Damn, man, that's cold. The following morning, they're awakened and set to Six Flags Magic Mountain, where Doctor Dark is lurking. Wait a second, I thought Doctor Dark was really Stan Lee pretending to be a supervillain. Remember that in the first episode? No? Bueller?

Anyway, the heroes have to split into four teams of two...

• Hyper-Strike and Mr. Mitzvah
• Hygena and Ms. Limelight
• Basura and Parthenon
• The Defuser and Whip-Snap

One member of each team has to ride a particular roller coaster and relay those colors to their teammate. The teammate then has to find four keys, one for each color. Once all four teams unlock the locks those keys go to, Doctor Dark will be found.

All four teams succeed, but it turns out that Doctor Dark was just hiding on a monitor. Psyche! The heroes return to the lair, discovering a note from the good doctor that there may be a mole amongst their ranks. This leads to a big discussion among them about why they're there, with Mr. Mitzvah not really opening up. Stan pops up eventually, announcing that the heroes will be giving him mission reports on the other heroes.

Mr. Mitzvah steps out of the room for a moment afterwards, so the seven remaining start discussing what to do about his antisocial behavior. So they're staging an intervention because he isn't as gabby as the others? That's dirty pool right there. So when he comes back, they start reading him the riot act when he gets back, and he defends his being quiet by saying that people shouldn't be talking just to hear themselves speak. Burn!

It's about that time that Stan reveals the results of the mission reports. Turns out that the heroes thought that Whip-Snap and Mr. Mitzvah would have made better sidekicks, and that Parthenon, Hyper-Strike, Basura, and Mr. Mitzvah are all thought to be the mole. But enough of that, it's time for the elimination ceremony. Stan calls Mr. Mitzvah, Basura, and Ms. Limelight up to the chopping block, cutting Mr. Mitzvah because of his repeated failure to overcome his fears. But as they start to clear out, Stan is all "get back here, we're cutting somebody else." Stan has Hyper-Strike replace Mr. Mitzvah on the chopping block, but ends up cutting Ms. Limelight because he felt she couldn't perform under pressure.

As they return to the lair, they find that their safe has been opened and that the papers revealing their secret identities have been stolen. Oh, snap.

That's a heck of an ending. I'm bummed that they cut Mr. Mitzvah and Ms. Limelight, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Mr. Mitzvah may be back as a villain. He'd have the motivation to turn evil, since all the others ganged up on him. Plus he said we haven't seen the last of him as he walked away. Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, but it could happen. Remember the Iron/Dark Enforcer from last season?

So that's it for the recap. Can't wait for the next episode.

Stuff In The Works

As mentioned in my post on Tuesday, I've got a review of Hollywoodland in the works. Got it in the mail from Netflix this afternoon, so you can expect it within a week or two. I'm still unsure whether or not I'm going to review The Black Dahlia, but I'll give it a watch, see if I want to do a write-up of it.

I also have my next big project set in stone: a series of reviews of movies based on or involving video games in some fashion, which I'm calling "Sutton At The Arcade." On deck are the Mortal Kombat movies, the Tomb Raider movies, Street Fighter, and Super Mario Bros., along with gaming-oriented movies The Wizard, Stay Alive, and Brainscan. Netflix didn't have Double Dragon or Wing Commander, so unfortunately, I won't be able to do those. I'd probably end up giving them bad reviews anyway.

Speaking of bad reviews, I almost included the direct-to-video House of the Dead 2 among the "Sutton At The Arcade" movies, but since they're doing direct-to-video sequels to BloodRayne and Alone in the Dark, I feel almost feel obligated to do those three reviews as a triple feature all to themselves. The Alone in the Dark sequel apparently won't be out until sometime next year, so it'll be a while. But boy, am I ever looking forward to seeing those three.

But of the nine movies I've compiled for "Sutton At The Arcade," I think the one I'm least looking forward to is Brainscan. I haven't seen it in maybe ten or twelve years, but I do remember being pretty dumb. I remember that, and I remember thinking Brainscan's villain was a cheap Freddy Krueger wannabe. I just hope that if it's as lame as I remember it being, that it'll make for an entertaining review to read.

But before we get there, I've got maybe four or five other reviews lined up in front of them. But I'll get around to them sooner or later.

Man, That's One Rude Superhero

As promised, here's my recap of the second episode of the second season of Who Wants to Be a Superhero?. Let's get into it, shall we?

The episode begins right after last week's elimination, and it appears being on the chopping block has left Ms. Limelight especially bummed. The Defuser does his best to cheer her up (including making a pact with her to go twenty-four hours without saying "I'm scared" or "I'm afraid"), but then Mindset goes and tells her that he thinks she's either putting on an act or is a total ditz. She gets upset to the point of tears, and the others - Whip-Snap, especially - make a point of sticking up for her and comforting her.

But the nine remaining superheroes can't sit around for long, because there's a supervillain on the loose. You know that bee-related hero I mentioned in the last episode review? Yeah, her. She's Bee-Sting, and the heroes have to go round her up. But as they arrive at her last known whereabouts, they're trapped and split into teams. They're forced into a spelling bee competition, with the idea being that each word has the syllable "be" in it, and that it had to be spelled "b-e-e."

The winning team will be the one to get three words right, and for every wrong word, a thousand bees will be dumped into the chamber holding that team. I guess every supervillain needs to have a gimmick. But Mindset thinks the whole thing is dumb, spells a word without the bee gimmick, and proclaims, "That is how it is spelled. I will not play your games." So yeah, a thousand bees for his team. But as the heroes eventually finish the challenge, Bee-Sting gets the last laugh by dumping a few hundred gallons of honey on them. Alrighty then. (Though it does lead to a funny line, when Basura calls Bee-Sting a "bee-itch.")

The nine heroes return to their abode, and the following morning, Stan calls them up and tells them to suit up and meet him in the game room in fifteen minutes. Of course, their costumes have all been ruined, and some are even missing pieces somehow. And by "missing pieces," I mean that Mr. Mitzvah shows up without any pants. How do you not remember to pack at least one change of pants when you go away for a few weeks to tape a reality show? So the heroes all end up meeting in the game room, looking like the Jonestown massacre was held at the San Diego Comic-Con. The reason Stan has called them there is because he wants them to describe their characters and their powers to him. Wasn't that what the auditions were for? I mean, how do you audition potential superheroes and not have the topic of their powers come up? The whole thing ends up being Stan deciding what he feels their powers should be, since Ms. Limelight went first and had absolutely no clue what her powers were. Yeah... okay.

So Stan tells them all what their new powers are, and announces that since they "look like hell," he was going to give them new costumes. And even though the new costumes are pretty much of the same quality as the ones they created in the first place, they all dig them. Except for Hyper-Strike that is. Stan ends up blowing him off when he complains, so it doesn't really matter what he thinks.

But now it's time for an elimination, and the heroes all meet on the roof. Called to the chopping block are Ms. Limelight (for not knowing her own powers), Mr. Mitzvah (for not facing his fear of bees during the challenge), and Mindset (for being rude to Ms. Limelight, and because his refusal to play by Bee-Sting's rules put his team in jeopardy). Mindset ends up getting the axe, and he ain't happy. He defends himself by saying that a real hero would live with suffering minor bodily harm instead of playing by the villain's rules. Though would a real hero insult a fellow hero? Anyway, Mindset turns in his costume, and he's gone. The remaining eight heroes leave the roof, and are promptly presented with communicators. And in the final seconds, it seems that Doctor Dark and Bee-Sting are going to team up. Wait, I thought Doctor Dark was just Stan Lee in a mask?

So yeah, I don't know what to say about this. Unlike last season, in which are the contestants were all interesting in their own ways, I'm having a hard time really finding anybody to cheer for. I like a few of them, but the rest... meh. Hopefully, I'll change my mind by the end of the season, because I want to like this season's cast. There's apparently a mole that will make its presence known in the next episode, and I don't think it will be as obvious as Rotiart last season. ("Traitor" backwards? That's still lame.) Maybe this mole will shake things up a bit?

Here Come The Fuzz

Got a new review up, something you guys can spend your Tuesday evening reading. So check out my review of Hot Fuzz, and go watch the movie if you haven't seen it yet.

I also picked up the DVD of TMNT about an hour ago, and I'm hoping to do a review of it soon. I'm also expecting to receive Hollywoodland from Netflix later this week, so you can look forward to that sometime within the next few weeks. I believe I mentioned something like this before, but I've been considering doing a double feature of Hollywoodland and The Black Dahlia, which is next in my Netflix queue. They have similar plots and their theatrical release dates were only a week apart, but I'm not sure whether or not I really want to review The Black Dahlia. We'll just see how it goes.

But I'm gonna go watch a little of that DVD now, so I'm gonna wrap this up. I'll probably have another post later, since I realized that I haven't gotten the second episode of Who Wants To Be A Superhero? reviewed yet. The Sci-Fi Channel is airing a rerun of it at 11:00, so I think I might get that review done at about midnight. So I'll hopefully get that done then, so stay tuned.

Who Reads The Watchmen? (I Do.)

Just finished reading the last issue of Watchmen a few minutes ago. Oh my, was that some great stuff. I mean, it's just some amazing reading from the first issue to the last. And the whole thing, when put together... wow.

I really can't wait for the movie to come out in 2009. Considering where society has gone since the 9/11 attacks, the whole twist at the end couldn't be more relevant. I mean, I'm not one of these wacko conspiracy theorists or anything, but still. So yeah, we've got about a year and a half to wait before Watchmen: The Motion Picture is released, but considering that I heard filming was supposed to end by sometime in February, I wouldn't be surprised if the first trailer is in front of The Dark Knight next summer.

Anyway, Alan Moore's Watchmen gets a thumbs up. My only complaint was that weird "Tales of the Black Freighter" comic-within-a-comic was a real distraction, and I didn't feel like it had much of a payoff, either. But eh, that's just me. Still, thumbs up for Watchmen. Go check it out, if you haven't yet.

Kneel Before Zod!

How about a quick mini-review to pass the time?

I got Superman 2: The Richard Donner Cut in the mail from Netflix today, which I just finished watching a few minutes ago. And I have to say that it's quite an interesting watch. The changes are obvious and the movie's real selling point, and it makes me wonder just how the Superman movie franchise would have turned out had this movie been the one released in theaters instead of Richard Lester's version. I don't know if I could say which of the two versions is better, but both of them are quite good and I recommend both the Donner and Lester cuts of the movie. If I had to give it a star rating, I'd give Superman 2: The Richard Donner Cut four stars. It's definitely worth a look, for sure.

Swag Alert

Along with all the comic reading, I've also been making some additions to my DVD collection. I pre-ordered the first season of Heroes from Amazon yesterday, and picked up Hot Fuzz as a blind buy this afternoon. I'd have gotten it yesterday when I was at the Wal-Mart in Lawrenceburg, but they only had three full-screen copies. I prefer widescreen DVDs, so I had to do without. My sister did find it for me today, the one widescreen copy that the Frankfort Wal-Mart had. So I got her to pick it up for me, and now I'm just waiting for an American release of Spaced, and I'm set. I haven't really gotten the opportunity to watch any of it yet, but since I loved Shaun of the Dead, I'm sure I'll love Hot Fuzz too. And I've also got my eye on the DVD of TMNT, which I'm totally planning to hunt down a copy of when it comes out next week.

But I'm really looking forward to the Heroes set. Amazon estimates that it won't ship until September 4th and I won't get it until another week or two after that, but it'll be forty bucks well spent when it does ship. It's one of these shows I can watch over and over, and I can't wait to get the DVD and for the second season to start. And if you don't watch Heroes, shame on you.

Who Watches The Watchmen?

As I mentioned the other day, I managed to download Alan Moore's Watchmen comics after it came highly recommended from a few people. I've read the first six issues so far, and those people were right. Watchmen is an engrossing read, and I'm surprised it took me so long to get around to reading it.

Now I'm only six issues deep, as I said. But if the rest are as good as what I've read thus far, it'll be some fantastic stuff. I'm certainly looking forward to the Watchman movie now too. The art looks like the storyboards for a movie, so if it stays faithful to the books, a Watchmen movie will at least look amazing. It's a shame that it won't be released until 2009, though.

But I think I'd better get back to reading. I've got six more issues to cover, plus I downloaded copies of Amazing Fantasy #15, Amazing Spider-Man #121, and Amazing Spider-Man #129. I already have a physical copy of Amazing Spider-Man #129, which got reprinted and handed out at movie theaters when the Punisher movie came out a few years ago, but I don't have a problem reading a downloaded version of it too. And like I said the other day, I should probably download Preacher too, even if it is something like 75 issues long. I also want to try hunting down a few Batman comics, mainly The Long Halloween and The Dark Knight Returns. In any event, I'm going to be doing a lot of reading.