Random Thoughts

Look at Earth there, spinning around the universe like it owns the place. It thinks it's so cool. We'll see how cool it thinks it thinks it is when I unleash my evil pyramid scheme of damnation! How ya like me now, Earth? Huh? How ya like me now?

Hey look, a new review is among the ranks. Want to know what it is? Do you really? Truly? Okay, you sound sincere enough, so I'll tell you. It's the one and only cocaine-fueled Cuban gangster movie Scarface. And the late great Rick James said it best: "Cocaine is a hell of a drug."

Wrestlemania 21 is in less than a week. Anybody want to give me 50 bucks?

Am I the only one who would want to see Fox do a remake of the Buffy The Vampire Slayer movie to tie it into the show? Sure, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Kristine Sutherland would probably be the only TV show cast members in the movie (unless they decided to throw in Michelle Trachtenberg if they went with the "fake memories of Dawn" angle), but a remake could be a better introduction to the show than Kristy Swanson's Buffy movie. I don't know if I'd believe Sarah Michelle Gellar as a 15-year-old high school sophomore, but hey, most of the Beverly Hills 90210 cast were in their 40s, weren't they? So in short, I'd be up for an SMG Buffy prequel if Fox and Joss Whedon decided to do it. And you'd be up for it too, don't lie.

I was watching the "Smile Time" episode of Angel last week, and the more I watch it, the funnier it gets. A bleached-blond vampire with a bad British accent fighting a brooding vampire puppet in a law office is high comedy, folks. If you ever get the chance to see "Smile Time," take that chance.

I was reading some reviews of various Asian movies, and I landed on one for a movie called Ichi The Killer. The movie centers around a Yakuza hitman that's into S&M bondage, as he tries to recover 1,000,000 yen stolen by his boss's rival. And thanks to some nasty scars on his face, he can blow cigarette smoke from holes in his cheeks. From reading the review, the movie sounds almost too crazy, even for me. I can handle the American Mafia, but those Yakuza guys are insane! You don't screw around with the Yakuza.

Am I the only one who's tired of those Boost Mobile commercials with the rappers singing into their cell phones? I can't go a day without seeing it at least twice. I'm not a huge rap fan anyway, and the general crappiness of the commercial makes it really grating on the ol' nerves.

Okay, guys, that's all I've got. Be here next time, same Bat time, same Bat channel.

Before you die, you see the sequel.

You're not gonna believe this, but I actually went out and saw a movie Friday night. I know, I never do that. I'm as shocked as you are. But anyway, I managed to get out of the house and see The Ring 2, and it was something else. It wasn't as good at first, and there were some parts that just plain didn't make sense, but it was definitely something else. It isn't as good as the previous Ring, but comparing The Ring 2 to The Ring is unfair. The sequel is a completely different beast than its predecessor. I'd probably have to see it a second or even third time to really get its vibe. With movie ticket prices the way they are, I'll probably just download it in a few weeks and save myself $6.50. Money's tight around the Sutton household, so piracy might be the way to go.

But I'm getting off-track. I really can't go too into detail without spoiling anything, but both Naomi Watts and David Dorfman are both great. Dorfman's character is creepy as hell (just like in the first Ring), and Watts once again holds the movie together by not only doing the "curious reporter" routine from The Ring, but adding a little "concerned mother" too. Like I said, the previous Ring is the more superior one of the two, but Ring 2 failed to disappoint. Three and a half stars for The Ring 2.

I was reading my review of The Incredibles, and I thought of something. How many people get the Isadora Duncan reference in the review? I know my mom does, I know Libby does (after I explained it to her), but I'm just curious as to how many heads that went over. And I'll be honest with you: I actually had no idea who Isadora Duncan was myself, until I read Roger Ebert's review for The Incredibles, and it was just so obscure, I had to make mention of it too. Thanks for helping, Mr. Ebert, but I still haven't forgiven you for Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.

The more ads for it I see, the cooler and cooler Sin City looks.

You diehard wrestling fans out there might remember two episodes of Raw that featured "Raw Roulette." You might even remember when Raw Roulette was WCW's "Spin The Wheel, Make The Deal." Well, I've been thinking about Raw Roulette, and I think it could be a neat gimmick to center a pay-per-view event around. I'm a mark for themed PPVs (like Taboo Tuesday, the Survivor Series, the Lethal Lottery), and a show made up of random gimmick matches would be fun. Maybe WWE could even dust off WCW's old "Uncensored" PPV name, just as long as they don't book a King Of The Road match. That was a neat concept, but the execution could have used work.

Speaking of gimmick matches, I'm just waiting for WWE to rip off TNA's Ultimate X match. But then again, that would mean WWE would be putting their cruisers in a show-stealing match. And we can't have that, can we?

That's all the news that's fit to print, and I have nothing else to say that is either relevant or true. Sutton out.

Psychos Love Me, Part 2

Okay, so I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is I haven't heard anything from that stalker in over a week, and I'm beginning to enjoy the peace and quiet. But I don't want to jinx it, so I'd better just shut up. The bad news is... well, I don't have any bad news to report. So hooray for that.

Add one more movie to "Sutton At The Movies." This time, I decided to review a cartoon and came out with The Incredibles. Check it out, if you please.

You'd think that with Kentucky and Eastern Kentucky playing each other in the first round of the NCAA tournament that it'd tear the state in half. But guess what? Even EKU is rooting for Kentucky. They're probably doing that because they know they have absolutely no chance in hell of actually beating Kentucky. And you know what? They don't.

That Visa commercial featuring the Marvel characters started out as really amusing the first dozen or so times I saw it, but now it's lost its novelty. But that Underdog cameo is good stuff.

You know the rumors that Quentin Tarantino might direct the next Friday The 13th movie? Turns out he turned New Line down. He'd rather work on Inglorious Bastards and his next kung fu movie instead, and that really sucks. Quentin Tarantino Presents Friday The 13th, Part 12 would have been awesome.

That's all I've got. Sutton out.

Psychos Love Me

Welcome back, friends and enemies, to the blog that never sleeps. My stalker is starting to really piss me off. Some of you know the story, some of you are hearing it for the first time. But here's the situation.

Back in January, my dad keeps telling me about this twenty-something coworker of his that's single and desperate for a man. I mean, she's asked out single guys, married guys, gay guys, straight guys. She wants a man and she wants one bad. Shortly after he starts talking to me about her, the phone calls began. The first few times, it was okay. I had no problem with that. But then she started calling two or three times a day. I ended up going out with her once, hoping she'd leave me alone after that. Despite being visibly uncomfortable being out with her, she didn't stop there. I somehow ended up out with her a second time. And the phone calls have gotten more and more annoying. She's started saying "I love you," and has told me to tell her the same even if I don't mean it. She apparently thinks I'm her boyfriend, despite me having corrected her. She's "joked" that she likes to peep in my windows. She's said that she wants to move in and live in my bedroom. She's said she'd beat up my sister for no reason. And she even said (hopefully jokingly) that she would marry me. I want to tell her to sod off, but I'm scared she'd pull a Fatal Attraction on me and boil some of my pets.

Okay, long story short, a psycho loves me. Isn't that lovely? My description really doesn't do the insanity justice. All I need to do is work up the courage to tell her to buzz off. Maybe I should just block her phone number and hope she gets the hint. Yeah, I kinda like that idea. Let's see how she likes THAT.

Life feels... I don't know, different lately. I can't quite put my finger on what the difference is, but something's up. Maybe it's the loony lover. Maybe it's that general case of the blahs that comes and goes. I don't know what my problem is. Eh, maybe I'll figure it out sooner or later. I can't be clueless all the time, can I? No, I can't be. Things are gonna improve around here, believe you me.

Okay, on to other subjects. I'm sure 99.9% of you have heard about the Matt Hardy/Lita/Edge love triangle. If not, you're either not a wrestling fan or just don't care, and I figure I might as well throw my two cents in too. With all the "Lita's a slut" stuff Trish was throwing out in the aftermath of her pregnancy storyline, you'd think Lita would be out to get some righteous vengeance and retribution in order to retain some kind of dignity. But then it turns out that she really is a slut. And like Libby said at her blog, she got off pretty light on Raw when compared to the vitriol that Edge got. So I guess WWE hasn't adopted the "Lita = homewrecker" outlook that everyone else has. Matt's got every right to be upset and heartbroken, though. If you were dating someone for the better part of a decade and discovered that your significant other was sleeping around with a close friend, you be a little miffed too.

Have you heard the rumors that Quentin Tarantino might direct the next Friday The 13th movie? Now you have! "Quentin Tarantino Presents Friday The 13th, Part 12." Sounds awesome to me.

These "Fair Enough" antismoking ads are so stupid. I'd start lighting up out of spite if I wasn't allergic to cigarette smoke.

You know, I really need to start going out and doing more stuff. I'm starting to bore myself with my various incoherent ramblings, so either I need to go out and do stuff, or just find something new to ramble about. I've noticed I've been repeating myself a lot more lately, and I could definitely stand to expand my discussion horizons, unless I get distracted by something else.

That's all I've got for now. Sutton out.

Godzilla: Coolest Dinosaur Ever

Welcome back, friends, for this quickie update. Just wanted to post the new review for "Sutton At The Movies," this time for Matthew Broderick's Godzilla. Sutton out.