Since When Is Halloween Not In October?
Another weekend, another trip to the movies. This will probably be it for posts like this for at least a month, maybe two if none of the local theaters get Zombieland. I'd probably go see Jennifer's Body, but I've decided to pass on it. The reason being that after Transformers 2, Megan Fox has completely worn out her welcome. But anyway, I headed out this afternoon to see Halloween II, Rob Zombie's sequel to his remake of the horror classic. I thought the remake was mostly awful, with only a handful of decent moments. But as far as the sequel goes, it's at least an improvement. It's still not all that great, but I guess I'll have to take what I can get.
The movie is, by and large, a standard slasher movie. And if it had stuck to that, it might have been pretty decent. But there are so many weird elements, stupid elements, and elements that are poorly realized, that it hurts the movie. Did we really need the whole thing with Michael's mom and the white horse? Jason is the mama's boy, not Michael. And was it just me, or did Dr. Loomis's character arc seem super-rushed? It felt like he spent the majority of the arc at the beginning, then decided to stay there before completely skipping over the middle and arriving at the end in the last ten minutes of the movie. Were all the scenes where he develops and reaches his final conclusions left on the cutting room floor?
So yeah, the writing cold have used some improvement. And to tell you the truth, the acting could have too. It's really a mixed bag. Malcolm McDowell and Brad Dourif put forth good performances, and Tyler Mane is scary as Michael Myers. I even thought Sheri Moon Zombie was good, despite there being no real need for her character beyond Rob Zombie wanting to stick his wife in all his movies. But the supporting cast is kinda weak, and our "final girl," Scout Taylor-Compton, is tremendously bad. I've seen her in three movies now, and I've come to the decision that she needs to go take a few acting classes. Just because you're cute as a button doesn't mean you should be starring in widely-released theatrical movies.
It doesn't help anything that the new version of Laurie Strode is one of the most useless, pathetic characters in I've ever seen in a horror movie. She's right up there with the girl that hid in the refrigerator in Madman, though the new Laurie doesn't have the redeeming factor of doing something as awesome as using a fridge to hide from the killer. Taylor-Compton has nothing on Jamie Lee Curtis, whose version of Laurie is still one of the slasher genre's most beloved "final girls." I know several horror fans who were legitimately upset when Jamie Lee's Laurie was killed off at the beginning of Halloween: Resurrection. I don't particularly believe that the same will be said for Scout's Laurie. thanks to the fatal combination of bad writing and bad acting.
So how did I ultimately feel about Halloween II? It's definitely a step up from the remake, but I'd still rather watch the old Halloween movies instead. And I say that because they're simply more fun. Yeah, more fun. Rob Zombie's two Halloween movies are almost unbearably mean-spirited and cruel. I end up being more disappointed and depressed just thinking about them than I do the others. Disappointed because they're just not all that great, and depressed because of how unapologetically mean they are. But because it is at least an improvement with a few bits and pieces that I actually did like, I'll give Halloween II two and a half stars on my scale of five.
What I really fear, though, is the rumor that Zombie will be tackling a new remake of The Blob next. He supposedly doesn't like any of the previous Blob movies, and because of that, he will probably make the villain something other than the giant man-eating Jello monster that we all know and love. I hope somebody comes to their senses between now and then and realizes just how much that idea sucks. If you're going to name your movie The Blob, it had better star that giant man-eating Jello monster or this guy. Otherwise, you'd be better off giving it a different name, right?
The movie is, by and large, a standard slasher movie. And if it had stuck to that, it might have been pretty decent. But there are so many weird elements, stupid elements, and elements that are poorly realized, that it hurts the movie. Did we really need the whole thing with Michael's mom and the white horse? Jason is the mama's boy, not Michael. And was it just me, or did Dr. Loomis's character arc seem super-rushed? It felt like he spent the majority of the arc at the beginning, then decided to stay there before completely skipping over the middle and arriving at the end in the last ten minutes of the movie. Were all the scenes where he develops and reaches his final conclusions left on the cutting room floor?
So yeah, the writing cold have used some improvement. And to tell you the truth, the acting could have too. It's really a mixed bag. Malcolm McDowell and Brad Dourif put forth good performances, and Tyler Mane is scary as Michael Myers. I even thought Sheri Moon Zombie was good, despite there being no real need for her character beyond Rob Zombie wanting to stick his wife in all his movies. But the supporting cast is kinda weak, and our "final girl," Scout Taylor-Compton, is tremendously bad. I've seen her in three movies now, and I've come to the decision that she needs to go take a few acting classes. Just because you're cute as a button doesn't mean you should be starring in widely-released theatrical movies.
It doesn't help anything that the new version of Laurie Strode is one of the most useless, pathetic characters in I've ever seen in a horror movie. She's right up there with the girl that hid in the refrigerator in Madman, though the new Laurie doesn't have the redeeming factor of doing something as awesome as using a fridge to hide from the killer. Taylor-Compton has nothing on Jamie Lee Curtis, whose version of Laurie is still one of the slasher genre's most beloved "final girls." I know several horror fans who were legitimately upset when Jamie Lee's Laurie was killed off at the beginning of Halloween: Resurrection. I don't particularly believe that the same will be said for Scout's Laurie. thanks to the fatal combination of bad writing and bad acting.
So how did I ultimately feel about Halloween II? It's definitely a step up from the remake, but I'd still rather watch the old Halloween movies instead. And I say that because they're simply more fun. Yeah, more fun. Rob Zombie's two Halloween movies are almost unbearably mean-spirited and cruel. I end up being more disappointed and depressed just thinking about them than I do the others. Disappointed because they're just not all that great, and depressed because of how unapologetically mean they are. But because it is at least an improvement with a few bits and pieces that I actually did like, I'll give Halloween II two and a half stars on my scale of five.
What I really fear, though, is the rumor that Zombie will be tackling a new remake of The Blob next. He supposedly doesn't like any of the previous Blob movies, and because of that, he will probably make the villain something other than the giant man-eating Jello monster that we all know and love. I hope somebody comes to their senses between now and then and realizes just how much that idea sucks. If you're going to name your movie The Blob, it had better star that giant man-eating Jello monster or this guy. Otherwise, you'd be better off giving it a different name, right?
posted by Matt Sutton at
8:52 PM
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