Blender Hates Music, But I Love "Kill Bill"

Have no fear, updatery is here.

Finally, after months of wait and endless reruns of the first season, Viva La Bam's second season started tonight. Overall, I like. The show's change in location is nice, though I think Bam's obsession with Ville Valo is a little frightening.

I caught Kill Bill: Volume 2 on Saturday night, despite not having seen Volume 1. I liked it, though I may appreciate it more once I see Volume 1. Meanwhile, my dad hated it because it was all story with very little action. His exact quote: "It might as well have been Blair Witch." Unless it's a crime drama, my dad and flicks with dialogue-heavy plots just don't gel. Personally, I thought the Darryl Hannah/Uma Thurman fight was great, and David Carradine was awesome beyond words. Sid Haig as a bartender also got a laugh out of me. I give it three stars, possibly four after I finally see Volume 1.

In the extra features for Pulp Fiction, Quentin Tarantino mentions that he's a fan of slasher movies. He's done his own kung fu movie and his own spaghetti western (if you consider Kill Bill 2 as such), so maybe he should tackle a slasher flick as his next project. A slasher movie by QT would be awesome.

Blender Magazine recently picked what they deemed the 50 worst songs ever. Let's see what they are...

1. "We Built This City" by Starship
2. "Achy Breaky Heart" by Billy Ray Cyrus
3. "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung
4. "Rollin’ (Air Raid Vehicle)" by Limp Bizkit
5. "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice
6. "The Heart of Rock and Roll" by Huey Lewis & The News
7. "Don’t Worry, Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin
8. "Party All The Time" by Eddie Murphy
9. "American Life" by Madonna
10. "Ebony And Ivory" by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder
11. "Invisible" by Clay Aiken
12. "Kokomo" by The Beach Boys
13. "Illegal Alien" by Genesis
14. "From A Distance" by Bette Midler
15. "I’ll Be There For You" by The Rembrandts
16. "What’s Up?" by 4 Non Blondes
17. "Pumps And A Bump" by MC Hammer
18. "You’re The Inspiration" by Chicago
19. "Broken Wings" by Mr. Mister
20. "Dancing On The Ceiling" by Lionel Richie
21. "Two Princes" by Spin Doctors
22. "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue (The Angry American)" by Toby Keith
23. "Sunglasses At Night" by Corey Hart
24. "Superman (It’s Not Easy)" by Five For Fighting
25. "I’ll Be Missing You" by Puff Daddy featuring Faith Evans and 112
26. "The End" by The Doors
27. "The Final Countdown" by Europe
28. "Your Body Is A Wonderland" by John Mayer
29. "Breakfast At Tiffany’s" by Deep Blue Something
30. "The Greatest Love of All" by Whitney Houston
31. "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" by Crash Test Dummies
32. "Will2K" by Will Smith
33. "Barbie Girl" by Aqua
34. "Longer" by Dan Fogelberg
35. "Shiny Happy People" by R.E.M.
36. "Make Em Say Uhh!" by Master P featuring Silkk The Shocker, Fiend, Mia-X, and Mystikal
37. "Rico Suave" by Gerardo
38. "Cotton Eyed Joe" by Rednex
39. "She Bangs" by Ricky Martin
40. "I Wanna Sex You Up" by Color Me Badd
41. "We Didn’t Start The Fire" by Billy Joel
42. "The Sounds of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkel
43. "Follow Me" by Uncle Kracker
44. "I’ll Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)" by Meat Loaf
45. "Mesmerize" by Ja Rule featuring Ashanti
46. "Hangin’ Tough" by New Kids on the Block
47. "The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You" by Bryan Adams
48. "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da" by The Beatles
49. "I’m Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred
50. "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion

Hahaha, the theme song from Friends is on there. And there really are a lot of bad songs on there. But some of these songs are "so bad, they're good." Besides, I stopped putting faith in Blender's lists after they put The Doors in the "worst bands ever" list. Just because Jim Morrison was drunk and/or stoned during just about all of their concerts doesn't mean that The Doors are a bad band.

That's all I've got to say for now.

MTV Movie Award nominees

Back at Oscar time, I mentioned the MTV Movie Awards. Well, guess what I found? The nominations for this year's MTV Movie Awards. Here they are...

BEST MOVIE

• 50 First Dates
• Finding Nemo
• The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
• Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
• X2: X-Men United

BEST MALE PERFORMANCE

• Adam Sandler, 50 First Dates
• Bill Murray, Lost In Translation
• Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
• Tom Cruise, The Last Samurai
• James Caviezel, The Passion of the Christ

BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE

• Drew Barrymore, 50 First Dates
• Queen Latifah, Bringing Down The House
• Halle Berry, Gothika
• Uma Thurman, Kill Bill: Volume 1
• Charlize Theron, Monster

BEST COMEDIC PERFORMANCE

• Jim Carrey, Bruce Almighty
• Will Ferrell, Elf
• Ellen DeGeneres, Finding Nemo
• Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
• Jack Black, School of Rock

BEST ON-SCREEN TEAM

• Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore, 50 First Dates
• Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, Bad Boys 2
• Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom, Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
• Jack Black and the band, School of Rock
• Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, Starsky & Hutch

BEST VILLAIN

• Demi Moore, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle
• Lucy Liu, Kill Bill: Volume 1
• Kiefer Sutherland, Phone Booth
• Geoffrey Rush, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
• Andrew Brynarski, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

BREAKTHROUGH MALE

• Ludacris, 2 Fast 2 Furious
• Cillian Murphy, 28 Days Later
• Shia LaBeouf, Holes
• Shawn Ashmore, X2: X-Men United
• Omarion, You Got Served

BREAKTHROUGH FEMALE

• Lindsay Lohan, Freaky Friday
• Scarlett Johansson, Lost In Translation
• Keira Knightley, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
• Jessica Biel, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
• Evan Rachel Wood, Thirteen

BEST KISS

• Jim Carrey and Jennifer Aniston, Bruce Almighty
• Keanu Reeves and Monica Bellucci, The Matrix: Reloaded
• Charlize Theron and Christina Ricci, Monster
• Owen Wilson, Carmen Electra, and Amy Smart, Starsky & Hutch
• Shawn Ashmore and Anna Paquin, X2: X-Men United

BEST ACTION SEQUENCE

• Intercoastal Freeway Pursuit, Bad Boys 2
• Escape from Mongolia, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle
• Battle at Gondor, The Lord of The Rings: The Return of the King
• Champion Crane Chase, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

BEST FIGHT

• Queen Latifah vs. Missi Pyle, Bringing Down The House
• Uma Thurman vs. Chiaki Kuriyama, Kill Bill: Volume 1
• Keanu Reeves vs. Hugo Weaving, The Matrix: Reloaded
• The Rock vs. the Kontiki rebels, The Rundown
• Hugh Jackman vs. Kelly Hu, X2: X-Men United

BEST DANCE SEQUENCE

• Ben Stiller and Jennifer Aniston, Along Came Polly ("Hot Salsa Dance")
• Seann William Scott, American Wedding ("Disco Dance Off")
• Steve Martin, Bringing Down The House ("In Da Club")
• Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, and Lucy Liu, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle ("Burlesque Revue")
• Omarion, Marques Houston, and the Lil Saints' Dance Crew, You Got Served ("The Big Bounce")

Overall, there's a lot of blah nominees. And no nomination for Freddy vs. Jason in the "Best Fight" category? Both fights from the movie were freaking awesome, and Robert Englund not getting a "Best Villian" nomination while Andrew Brynarski (who was Leatherface, if you didn't read my review) did is a bummer. I would also assume that Freddy vs. Jason would get more nominations than You Got Served, 50 First Dates, or Gothika, but that's just me.

Jessica Biel's nomination for "Breakthrough Actress" also strikes me as being odd. When you get right down to it, all she did was run around in a wet tank top and tight jeans. Any random slasher movie heroine could have done that. If they wanted to nominate somebody from a horror movie, they could have nominated Kelly Rowland in Freddy vs. Jason or Naomie Harris in 28 Days Later.

I'm sure that the stupid Lord of the Rings movie will win every single award, just like at the Oscars. I'm sorry, but a bunch of gay elves looking for a ring doesn't do anything for me. They could just go to the local jewlery store if they wanted a ring so bad. Geez.

Anyway, that's all I've got for now. Sutton out.

More Movies, And Moredecai

Hi everybody! ("Hi, Dr. Nick!")

I caught the new version of The Punisher last night, and it wasn't bad. Not great, but not horrible either. It could have definately been better. It's like somebody released a direct-to-video movie in theaters. The movie was John Travolta being all "hey, let's kill Tom Jane" and Tom Jane's all "oh no you didn't" and he kills the people that were gonna kill him and Travolta's cronies are all "crap, that didn't work" and Travolta's all "do it again until you get it right, dummies" and then Jane kills them all again. Lather rince repeat until the end of the movie. But hey, stuff goes boom and Rebecca Romijn is hot.

In other movie news, I think I might just skip Kill Bill 2. I'll just wait until Quentin Tarantino edits the two volumes back together and puts the whole thing on a DVD. I'm not paying six bucks to see half a movie. Screw those Miramax losers.

This Mordecai gimmick that WWE is doing only means one thing: WWE writers recently saw a Children of the Corn movie and decided to make a gimmick out of it.

Van Helsing looks like a really good movie, and apparently Universal has a lot of faith in it. I read in Entertainment Weekly last week that Universal is paying rent to some town in Prague so they can keep the sets in tact, just in case the movie's a hit. That way, they can make a sequel or two without having to rebuild the sets. Smart thinking, but it'll be a waste if the movie bombs (I doubt it will, but it could).

That's it for now. Later all.

The Kentucky Review Massacre

Hey, another post. It's about darn time.

I've got a new review up. This time it's the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which you can read right here. You can read my review of the original here. You better enjoy the review, or so help me, I will track you down and I will cut you.

The Texas DVD Massacre

Went to Lexington today, and picked up the special edition DVD of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake at Best Buy today. Unfortunately, buying that took all my money, because I happened to find the Freddy and Jason action figures at Suncoast 15 minutes later. I was really bummed over that one, but I'll suck it up and move on. Maybe I'll come into 30 bucks soon.

Anyway, I haven't gotten a real chance to check out the extras on my new DVD. Today has been such a gloomy day. Nothing but rain and clouds and ugh. I hate it. It's one of those days where you just want to sit around and do nothing but sleep. I hate those kind of days. I usually don't mind rain, but I just hate yucky days.

Nothing much else to report on. Sutton out.

...And Carry A Big Stick

Took in a showing of Walking Tall today. Not bad, but it could have been better. It seems like there were scenes missing or something, because The Rock's love interest goes from "hey, Rock, I'm a stripper" to "hey, Rock, you left your jacket in my nudie booth," to "hey, Rock, here's some potato salad, wanna make out?" without any real development. However, I liked The Rock and especially Johnny Knoxville. Rock was great when it came to the action and some humor, and Knoxville provided lots of good comic relief. I'll give it three stars for a good effort. The "dedicated to the memory of Sheriff Buford Pusser" credit was a nice touch too.

And now I'm torn between seeing The Punisher and Hellboy next weekend. It'll be a comic book weekend. I would go see Kill Bill 2, but having never seen the first one, I'd be totally clueless as to what was going on. Sure, I could rent it, but I don't know when I'll be to a video store.

Nothing else to say. Sutton out.

Big, Buffy, and Armageddon

After seeing the ads for Jennifer Garner's new movie 13 Going On 30, and I'm perplexed. I love Big, but who thought it would be a good idea to do a remake of it?

FX makes me angry. I missed the last four episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer because they decided to show Armageddon and two marathons of Cops. At least they showed the third season finale today, though I really didn't need to see Seth Green and David Boreanaz with no shirts. You know, I really should get a job and save up the money to buy each season on DVD (along with the Buffy movie, just for the heck of it).

Nothing else to say. Sutton out.

Wrestling and Reviews

Took in an indy wrestling show tonight. Not very many notable names (outside of Terry Alan, who was listed in the PWI 500), but it was very enjoyable. Some of the matches included moves that I'd either never seen, or had never seen in person. One match featured a standing shooting star press and a firebird splash, and another match featured a weird move where Wrestler 1 lifted up Wrestler 2 for a suplex, but hooked Wrestler 2's feet on the top rope and gave him a twisting neckbreaker. It's hard to explain, but it was sweet. I tried explaining it to Mike, and he says Rob Conway's used the move a few times. If he has, I must have missed it.

We have a new review up at Sutton At The Movies. This time, I complete the Return Of The Dead Trilogy, with Return of the Living Dead, Part 2. You can read my review for the first one here and the third one here.

That's it for this update. Sutton out.

Happy April Fools Day, you fools!

Since it's April Fools Day, I figured I'd share a story about a couple of fools. I heard this on MTV News last night, and it's gotta be one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. You can read the story in full by clicking this link right here, but I'll sum it up. Basically, former Jackass stars Steve-O, Chris Pontius, and Jason "Wee-Man" Acuña showed up at a radio show in Toronto to promote the Canadian part of their "Don't Try This At Home" tour, as well as Steve-O and Pontius's nature show Wildboyz. Dressed in nothing but sweatpants, they dropped a few F-bombs and graphically described a stunt Steve-O calls "The Butterfly" (if you didn't click the link and want to know what that is, see me and I'll tell you). Security ended up having to throw all three Jackasses out, but only after Steve-O whipped out Lil' Steve-O and peed on a wall. The hosts of the radio show were fined and suspended without pay until this past Tuesday for violating the station's programming policies. Geez, there's a difference in being a jackass and being a freaking moron.

On the topic of former Jackass cast members, I think Dave Letterman may be misinformed. Johnny Knoxville was a guest on the show tonight to promote Walking Tall, and Dave kept saying he was "better known as Johnny Jackass." He is? Sure, Johnny was the Jackass ringleader, but has anybody besides Dave ever called him Johnny Jackass? Geez, if he was known as that, he'd be better off going by his real name (which is P.J. Clapp, since you probably didn't know). I like Letterman, but this "Johnny Jackass" thing is just dumb. Besides, the last episode of the Jackass TV show aired two years ago. Get with the program, Dave.

The cover of my VHS copy of Evil Dead 2 is creeping me out. It's just sitting in the floor staring at me. Either I'm going crazy or it wants to eat my soul. I should have my new mascot, the ferocious Evil Monkey, take care of it. Surely it shall be a battle comparable to the epic Shark vs. Alligator brouhaha that recently thrilled viewers of Adult Swim. The Evil Monkey vs. The Evil Dead. Be there. Or don't be there. See if I care.

Batman's got himself a new ride. It's... different. I thought it looked dumb at first, but it's growing on me. It's weird imagining Batman wheeling around in a Batmobile that looks like a tank, though I think it could be pretty cool once Batman Begins comes out.

I've recently been thinking of taking up golf. Not in going to courses and playing 18 holes, just hanging out in my front yard with some clubs and hitting balls. It's kinda like that one scene in Fight Club. You can get a million of these little "practice" golf balls (which are basically miniature wiffle balls) for something like 50 cents at Wal-Mart's sporting goods section. I've got 50 cents, so all I need are some clubs. And a caddy. Maybe a golf cart too.

You know a movie that's begging to be made? A third Bill & Ted movie. Keanu Reeves is no stranger to trilogies, and Alex Winter really isn't doing anything. Just call them and George Carlin up, and get this thing made.

You know, Godsend comes out in four weeks. They better make with the TV ads now, because this thing has no buzz at all. Other than the trailer looking cool, I haven't heard a single thing about it. But since it's being released by Lions Gate, it'll probably only see an extremely limited release, so all the TV ads in the world won't matter.

That's all for now. Sutton out.