Project Progress
I posted last week about some of my projects, about how I was hoping to do a double feature of reviews plus a third one. Unfortunately, the third one has temporarily fallen through due to circumstances beyond my control. But I'm hoping to get it written whenever I can, and the double feature is still going to happen regardless. I promise.
As it stands now, I think my recent review writing binge is going to continue for a while. I had the idea of jotting down which movies on my Netflix queue I'd like to write about, but I discovered that it would be just as easy to make a note of which ones I didn't want to write about. I think my efforts are going to need to be halved, otherwise I'll be doing nothing but writing these reviews. If I were getting paid for it, that'd be one thing. But it's just a hobby now, so I'll be doing them at my leisure.
But there are quite a few reviews that I really would like to write. I'd like to do a few comedies, which will be good because S@TM's sea of reviews could stand to be a little bit deeper. Man cannot live on horror alone, can he?
Anyway, I already have the first review in the double feature finished, but the second one is going to be as hard to write as the first. I say so because the movie is so mind-numbingly awful that I'm having a hard time thinking of ways to insult it. I just can't bring myself to mock it without getting angry about how bad it is. I'd rather hit myself in the groin with a sledgehammer than talk about this movie. It's not as awful as Pulse, but it's still pretty horrible. And that's one of S@TM's unspoken mission statements: I watch garbage so you don't have to. Except for Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector. I'm not watching that movie, even if you paid me.
Which is rather sad, actually. I'll watch Catwoman, Superman 4, Batman & Robin, and House of the Dead, but I wouldn't touch Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector with a ten-foot pole. And why is that? Because Larry the Cable Guy is the Antichrist.
That, and I'm just not ready to add negative stars to my ratings scale.
As it stands now, I think my recent review writing binge is going to continue for a while. I had the idea of jotting down which movies on my Netflix queue I'd like to write about, but I discovered that it would be just as easy to make a note of which ones I didn't want to write about. I think my efforts are going to need to be halved, otherwise I'll be doing nothing but writing these reviews. If I were getting paid for it, that'd be one thing. But it's just a hobby now, so I'll be doing them at my leisure.
But there are quite a few reviews that I really would like to write. I'd like to do a few comedies, which will be good because S@TM's sea of reviews could stand to be a little bit deeper. Man cannot live on horror alone, can he?
Anyway, I already have the first review in the double feature finished, but the second one is going to be as hard to write as the first. I say so because the movie is so mind-numbingly awful that I'm having a hard time thinking of ways to insult it. I just can't bring myself to mock it without getting angry about how bad it is. I'd rather hit myself in the groin with a sledgehammer than talk about this movie. It's not as awful as Pulse, but it's still pretty horrible. And that's one of S@TM's unspoken mission statements: I watch garbage so you don't have to. Except for Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector. I'm not watching that movie, even if you paid me.
Which is rather sad, actually. I'll watch Catwoman, Superman 4, Batman & Robin, and House of the Dead, but I wouldn't touch Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector with a ten-foot pole. And why is that? Because Larry the Cable Guy is the Antichrist.
That, and I'm just not ready to add negative stars to my ratings scale.
posted by Matt Sutton at
1:30 PM
2 Comments:
So bad you don't know how to stop insulting it? A potential of negative stars? I *can't wait* for you to watch Bloodrayne.
Good luck with the reviews. I'm ready for them, brother.
See, I'm much better when I'm talking about something I hate rather than something I enjoy. I'm in my element tearing peoples' ideas apart for my own amusement, rather than lavishing praise. Kind of an ass, too.
ZIBAN!
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