Reviews, New And Yet To Come

Howdy, folks, and welcome back to the MSX. Things have been moving a bit on the slow side lately, partly due to me fighting a cold for the better part of the month. Because of that, I've had plenty of free time. And you're in luck, too, because I've spent that free time working on potential new reviews for "Sutton At The Movies."

I've actually just finished up a new one, as a mater of fact. With all of the recent financial success that Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has seen, in spite of just how awful the movie is, I thought I'd go all the way back to the beginning and review some Transformers history. No, not Michael Bay's first Transformers movie, though I might have to review that one in the future. Instead, I reviewed the 1986 animated flick The Transformers: The Movie. Yes, folks, the movie directly based on the Transformers cartoon. I can't say I particularly liked it, but at least it was better than Revenge of the Fallen.

But after this, there's quite a few reviews I've been aiming to write. I've been prepping reviews of Terminator Salvation, Saw V, and a few others, and I've even been considering doing a review of the legendary Troll 2. If you haven't heard of it, good for you. It's considered one of the most unbelievably awful movies of all time. I have yet to actually watch it, but I do have a downloaded copy in my possession. I'm almost afraid to watch it, though, because its reputation alone has already scared me enough. But maybe, just maybe, I'll subject myself to the horrors of Troll 2 for the betterment of "Sutton At The Movies."

Maybe...

Gayest Movie Ever

There aren't really a whole lot of movies coming out this month that I'm particularly interested in, bu one of the few that's drawn my eye is Bruno. I was a fan of Borat, so I figured I'd go check it out this afternoon. And I thought it was an entertaining movie. I didn't think it was as funny as Borat, but it was still a really funny flick.

Bruno won't be for everyone. There are some parts that could offend people, others that will shock or disgust them. It's essentially Borat, only really, really, really, flamboyantly gay, so the majority of you reading this have already made up your mind as to whether or not you're going to see it. But I've seen it and liked it, so I'll give it three and a half stars and a thumbs up.

And I know Sasha Baron Cohen has already made Ali G Indahouse, but at this point, he could probably get away with making a new, mainstream Ali G movie in the style of Borat or Bruno. That way, he could hit the hat trick of his three characters and make himself quite a bit more money.

Two In A Row

Guess who just finished a new review for "Sutton At The Movies"?

Me!

I know, right? Two reviews in two days. I'm as surprised as you are. But enough about me, let's get to the review. This time around, it's the 1994 flick Double Dragon, the second movie to ever be adapted from a video game. It's a pretty awful movie, so I hope you readers appreciate this.

So go read that, and if you haven't read the review of Watchmen that I posted yesterday, do that too. I don't write these things for my health.

Who Reviews The Watchmen? (Hint: Me.)

Howdy, folks. I hope you "Sutton at the Movies" fans are ready for some excitement, because I've got a brand new review ready for your consumption. The movie in question: Zack Snyder's adaptation of Watchmen. You know, the superhero movie that came out earlier this year and didn't star Wolverine. So go read the review, and in a week and a half, go buy the DVD. Okay?

Who Ya Gonna Call?

Remember all the way back in December, when I complained about my Xbox 360 crashing? I'd been sitting on it for several months, waiting until I could afford the $100 charge to fix it. Turns out Microsoft added my particular problem to the extended warranty back in April and I didn't find out until a few weeks ago. So I mailed it off to Microsoft and got it taken care of for free, and I finally got it back yesterday.

Since then, I've been playing a lot of Ghostbusters: The Video Game. I actually just beat it a few minutes ago. I got the game for free thanks to the fine folks over at GBfans.com, so I don't think I could really complain about a free game. But even if I'd paid full price for it, the game would have been just as fun. I've been a Ghostbusters fan since I was a little kid, and the game only reinforced my enthusiasm for the Ghostbusters. The controls are easy to learn, and the game itself is a lot of fun to play. I'm not a video game reviewer, and the fact that I actually own and enjoy Sneak King shows what my opinion on video games is probably worth. But Ghostbusters: The Video Game is a heck of a game. You can't go wrong with it. So go buy yourself a copy.

Now if they'd ever get around to actually making Ghostbusters 3 instead of just talking about it...

Maybe This Could Transform Into A Good Movie

As I usually do on the weekends, I went out to catch the latest big movie to be released. This time around was Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and in short, it could have been better.

The problem with the movie was that it had all kinds of flaws. The story is too hard to follow, the acting feels hollow, the action starts blending together after a while, and there are characters and scenes that could have been removed with no negative consequences. Seriously, there's so much stuff they could have cut out of the movie. Did we need the subplot with the pain-in-the-ass bureaucrat annoying the military? Did we need the two Autobots that were bad Jar Jar Binks wannabes? Even I was offended by how racist they were, and I'm a white guy from the south.

You know what else could have been cut? All the scenes with the parents of Shia LaBeouf's character. I didn't think the movie needed the scene where his mom gets high on pot brownies, and they didn't really serve any purpose when they turned up at the end of the movie. They outlived their usefulness after the first twenty minutes of the movie, in all honesty. The same can be said for Shia's roommate, a one-joke character who didn't need to stick around for the entire movie.

Really, the only part of the movie that works is the CGI, which is fantastic. It looks really believable, so I can't complain about that. But pretty CGI can't save an otherwise lame movie. The whole thing is utter nonsense extended for about forty-five minutes longer than it should have lasted. There's no reason for this movie to be two and a half hours long. And I just can't believe that the guys who wrote the Star Trek remake actually wrote this. To wrap this up, I guess I'd give Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen two stars out of the usual five. If I were a Transformers fan, I'd be pissed.

Drag Me To The Land Of The Lost

I've never made it a secret that I enjoy seeing movies at drive-in theaters. I haven't exactly made a habit of it (the last time I went was near the end of 2007), but I think it's a lot of fun when I actually get the chance to go. It's always an entertaining experience for me, at least. The reason I bring this up is because I just got home from the drive-in theater over in Harrodsburg, and I thought I'd talk a little about the double feature they ran.

First on the bill was Land of the Lost. I've never seen the old television show, and combining that with the less-than-stellar reviews it's been getting, and I was just going to rent the DVD in a few months. But I figured, what the heck, I'll give it a shot. And to tell you the honest truth, it's an ultimately forgettable movie. The jokes are worth a chuckle, but nothing was worth full-blown laughter. The movie wasn't good or bad; it was just okay. It was just kinda there. It's a heaping pile of adequacy. And in summary, Land of the Lost is a forgettable little movie that I'm not sure that even fans of the show will remember a year from now. So it gets a thumbs-in-the-middle with two and a half stars. I've seen worse movies, but I've certainly seen better ones too.

The second half of the double feature was Sam Raimi's new horror movie, Drag Me to Hell. This was another one that I was probably going to wait to watch on DVD, since for the life of me, I just couldn't get excited enough to see it theatrically. But what do you know, I went to see it anyway. I'm glad I did, because it was actually pretty good. I liked everything about the movie, especially Alison Lohman's performance, but the movie is really more spooky than it is scary. That's not really a bad thing, so I'm not going to call it a complaint. Drag Me to Hell was definitely worth the three and a half stars I'm going to give it, and if you have any interest in it at all, go see it if it's still playing anywhere near you. The movie kinda dropped off the face of the earth, which is a real bummer.

The best part about the whole thing, though, was watching a horror movie at a drive-in theater, with the time well past midnight, and with the occasional streak of lightning on the horizon. That, my friends, is what I like call a good time. I'll have to do it again sometime.