The Manliest Movie Ever Made

You devoted followers of the MSX have probably figured out by now that I love movies, and that I love going to movie theaters. But it's been nearly a month since I've been to one, and that had to change. So today I made the decision to head out and see the new action flick The Expendables. Or as some friends of mine like to call it, "Testosterone: The Motion Picture."

To sum it up in a few words, The Expendables kicks ass. Its mere existence makes me want to stand up and celebrate the action movie genre as a whole, so imagine how I felt actually seeing it. Though only Sylvester Stallone and Jason Statham really get the chance to shine among the sizable ensemble cast, everybody in it is thoroughly awesome. The fight scenes, the car chases, the overly gratuitous action, the flimsy plot; that's all awesome too. The only thing it was missing was the cheesy one-liners that made '80s action movies so cool.

There's not really a whole lot to critique about The Expendables, since it's not the kind of movie where one can do any sort of in-depth analysis. But that's what's so fantastic about it. It's an utterly shallow movie where many bullets are fired, many punches are thrown, and many things explode. And sometimes, that's all I want out of a movie. So if you're looking for a rating on my Sutton Scale, The Expendables gets a very solid four stars out of five. It's the kind of movie that makes me proud to be a man.