The Rumors Are True
You know the phrase "curiosity killed the cat?" I think I might be part feline because a little bit of me died inside a few hours ago.
I say that because a local TV channel decided to show Troll 2 late last night. I've heard over and over that it's supposed to be one of the worst movies ever made, but I'd never actually seen it before. And because I chose to be a masochist and pretty darn stupid to boot, I actually watched it.
I can say, without a trace of hyperbole, that the rumors are true. Everything you may have heard about Troll 2 is absolute fact.
Troll 2 is definitely one of the most insane bad movies I have ever seen. Such was its insanity that it made me crazy too; I spent roughly half the movie yelling at the TV. When I wasn't shouting an unhealthy cornucopia of profanities in the movie's direction, I was desperately trying to convince the movie of its own stupidity, as if it could actually hear me.
I've survived Manos: The Hands of Fate and Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter, and I thought I was tougher for it. But then along came Troll 2. I honestly didn't think it was possible for a movie to be this bad. I'm simply flabbergasted by its sheer stupidity.
What I saw on TV was a slightly edited version, which thankfully had commercials inserted so I could have a few moments every so often to recover. Could I make it though the uncut version? I don't know. But I want to give it a shot one day.
Why? The movie is practically daring me to watch it again. It's so bad it made me want to tear my own head off, but Troll 2 is a movie I have to see again, just to prove to myself that it's really real. I think I'll have to review it for the S@TM blog too, as sort of a last will and testament if the stupidity drives me to suicide.
The truth of the matter is that I want to punch Troll 2 in the face. But I'm not sure I could ever hurt it the way it hurt me.
I say that because a local TV channel decided to show Troll 2 late last night. I've heard over and over that it's supposed to be one of the worst movies ever made, but I'd never actually seen it before. And because I chose to be a masochist and pretty darn stupid to boot, I actually watched it.
I can say, without a trace of hyperbole, that the rumors are true. Everything you may have heard about Troll 2 is absolute fact.
Troll 2 is definitely one of the most insane bad movies I have ever seen. Such was its insanity that it made me crazy too; I spent roughly half the movie yelling at the TV. When I wasn't shouting an unhealthy cornucopia of profanities in the movie's direction, I was desperately trying to convince the movie of its own stupidity, as if it could actually hear me.
I've survived Manos: The Hands of Fate and Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter, and I thought I was tougher for it. But then along came Troll 2. I honestly didn't think it was possible for a movie to be this bad. I'm simply flabbergasted by its sheer stupidity.
What I saw on TV was a slightly edited version, which thankfully had commercials inserted so I could have a few moments every so often to recover. Could I make it though the uncut version? I don't know. But I want to give it a shot one day.
Why? The movie is practically daring me to watch it again. It's so bad it made me want to tear my own head off, but Troll 2 is a movie I have to see again, just to prove to myself that it's really real. I think I'll have to review it for the S@TM blog too, as sort of a last will and testament if the stupidity drives me to suicide.
The truth of the matter is that I want to punch Troll 2 in the face. But I'm not sure I could ever hurt it the way it hurt me.
posted by Matt Sutton at
1:58 PM
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