The "Sutton At The Movies" Achievement Awards, 2008 Edition

Since 2004, it's been customary for me to do what I call the "Sutton At The Movies" Achievement Awards. For the uninitiated, it's just a fun little thing I like to do every year to recognize the best and the worst of the movies I had the opportunity to watch over the previous twelve months. And now it's time for me to do this for the year that was 2008. So let's jump in, shall we? Keep in mind that these are all my own opinions, and that your mileage may vary.

• Best Movie: The Dark Knight
• Best Director: Darren Aronofsky, The Wrestler
• Best Actor: Robert Downey Jr., Iron Man and Tropic Thunder
• Best Actress: Anne Hathaway, Get Smart
• Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
• Best Supporting Actress: Ahney Her, Gran Torino
• Best Actor/Actress Playing a Fictional Version of His/Herself: Neil Patrick Harris, Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay
• Best Cameo: Tom Cruise, Tropic Thunder
• Best Hero: Sylvester Stallone, Rambo
• Best Villain: Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
• Best On-Screen Team: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Doug Jones, and the voice of Seth MacFarlane, Hellboy II: The Golden Army
• Best Horror Movie: The Strangers
• Best Comedy: Pineapple Express
• Best Fantasy Movie: Hellboy II: The Golden Army
• Best Animated Movie: Wall-E
• Best Sports Movie: The Wrestler
• Best Action Movie: Rambo
• Best Direct-To-Video Movie: Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead
• Best Movie Based on a Novel: The Ruins
• Best Movie Based on a Comic Book: The Dark Knight
• Best Movie Based on a Television Show: Get Smart
• Best Action Sequence: The Hulk demolishes the Army on a college campus, The Incredible Hulk
• Best Chase Sequence: Jason Statham follows a speeding car while riding a bicycle, Transporter 3
• Best Fight: Seth Rogan and James Franco vs. Danny McBride, Pineapple Express
• Best Original Song: "The Wrestler" by Bruce Springsteen, The Wrestler
• Best Sequel: The Dark Knight
• Best Remake: Bangkok Dangerous (Yeah, that's right, I said it!)
• Worst Remake: One Missed Call
• Worst Movie: One Missed Call
• Most Disturbing Scene: a zombified Jenna Jameson shoots billiard balls from her naughty parts, Zombie Strippers
• Grossest Scene: the leg amputation, The Ruins
• Best Use of a Song in a Movie: "Can't Smile Without You" by Barry Manilow, Hellboy II: The Golden Army
• Best Magic Trick: The Joker's disappearing pencil, The Dark Knight
• "Truth In Advertising" Award for Most Appropriate Title: a tie between Zombie Strippers and Zack and Miri Make a Porno
• "No Credit Where Credit’s Due" Award for Biggest Glory Hog: J.J. Abrams hogging practically all of Cloverfield's glory, despite neither writing or directing it. Sure, he might have come up with the concept, but that doesn't mean he’s the sole creative force behind the movie.
• Stupidest Viral Marketing: Cloverfield. Seriously, none of it made any sense, and none of it contributed to the movie whatsoever.
• Best Product Placement: the Nintendo Wii in Tropic Thunder
• Best MacGuffin: the Gran Torino from Gran Torino
• Most Gratuitous Use of Nonsensically Random Pop Culture References: Meet The Spartans and Disaster Movie
• Most Gratuitous Use of the Word "Asshole": Hancock
• Most Gratuitous Use of Crappy Swedish Pop Music: Mamma Mia!
• Most Likely to Make Uwe Boll Look Talented: Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, directors of Meet The Spartans and Disaster Movie
• Most Likely to Incite Suicide In Heterosexual Men: Sex and the City: The Movie
• Most Likely to Incite Suicide In People Sick of the Disney Channel: High School Musical 3
• Most Likely to Prove That Teenage Girls Will Watch Anything That’s Marketed To Them: Twilight
• Most Likely to Be Completely Forgotten About by the General Public: Never Back Down and Redbelt
• "Why Do These Movies Exist?" Award: Meet The Spartans, Step Up 2: The Streets, Witless Protection, and Disaster Movie

And that's it for the 2008 Sutton At The Movies Achievement Awards. It turned out to be quite a year, and here's hoping that 2009 will be a pretty good year for movies too.