The "Sutton At The Movies" Achievement Awards

I'm sure we all know of the Oscars and the Golden Globes. But there's one more award ceremony that's just as important: the annual "Sutton At The Movies" Achievement Awards. Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating that just a tad. I do, however, hope you guys have as much fun reading them as much as I enjoy putting them together every year. There's no real criteria for the awards I hand out, just my personal preferences.

So let's check 'em out, shall we?

• Best Movie: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
• Best Actor: Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
• Best Actress: Ellen Page, Hard Candy
• Best Supporting Actor: Ben Affleck, Hollywoodland
• Best Supporting Actress: Jodelle Ferland, Silent Hill
• Best Director: Sylvester Stallone, Rocky Balboa
• Best Comedy: Clerks II
• Best Horror Movie: Saw III
• Best Foreign Import: The Descent
• Best Fight: Sylvester Stallone vs. Antonio Tarver, Rocky Balboa
• Most Dramatic Scene: a kid pulls a gun on George Reeves, Hollywoodland
• Most Disturbing Scene: the tanning bed scene, Final Destination 3
• Most Frightening Scene: the first journey into darkness, Silent Hill
• Funniest Actor/Actress: Jeff Anderson, Clerks II
• Creepiest Actor/Actress: Seamus Davey-Fitzpatrick, The Omen
• Best Hero: Samuel L. Jackson, Snakes on a Plane
• Best Villain: Tobin Bell and Shawnee Smith, Saw III
• Best Use of an Overdone Cliché: Silent Hill's female villain with stringy black hair
• "I Didn't Need To See That" Award: Owen Wilson "goes camping" in You, Me, and Dupree
• "Where's Alan Smithee When You Need Him?" Award: Wes Craven's writing credit for Pulse
• "Truth In Advertising" Award: Snakes on a Plane's title
• Best Example of Mediocrity in Filmmaking: An American Haunting
• Best Idea: Snakes on a Plane doing re-shoots to get an R rating instead of a PG-13, as opposed to vice versa
• Best Music: Jeff Danna covering Akira Yamaoka, Silent Hill
• Most Annoying Soundtrack: the indecipherable Japanese techno from The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
• Best Use of a Song: "Every Woman In The World" by Air Supply, from Slither
• Most Satisfying Ending: Rocky Balboa
• Best Action Sequence: Superman catches the plane, Superman Returns
• Best Chase: Juggernaut and Shadowcat race through walls, X-Men: The Last Stand
• Most Car Damage: The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
• "That's Enough of That" Award: See No Evil and The Marine, thanks to WWE's endless promotion even after both movies had completely dropped off the radar
• Best Team: Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith, Clerks II
• Best Independent Film: Hard Candy
• Best Direct-To-Video Movie: 2001 Maniacs
• Best Sequel: Clerks II
• Worst Sequel: The Grudge 2
• Best Remake (American source): The Hills Have Eyes
• Best Remake (Asian source): The Lake House
• Worst Remake (American source): When A Stranger Calls
• Worst Remake (Asian source): Pulse
• Worst Movie: BloodRayne

I had a little bit of an internal debate over whether or not to give The Descent the Best Horror Movie award, but I ultimately decided not to. My reasoning is that I didn't give it to High Tension last year since it had already been out for two years prior to its initial American release. And since The Descent came out in 2005 over in England, I figured I'd follow precedent and exclude it from the running for Best Horror Movie. But since I felt it deserved to be highlighted, I decided to create the "Best Foreign Import" category for it.

But regardless, I'm satisfied with how the awards turned out. Now I can start working on the 2007 edition. So tune in this time next year for those, okay? Okay.