Where's An Alpha Beta When You Need One?

I've long considered myself a nerd, and that's a label I wear with pride. But just my luck, something had to go and happen to make me rethink that.

For those of you who've been living under a rock for the last week or so, I'll explain. Sony's big new video game console, the PlayStation 3, was released at midnight yesterday. And unless you don't watch the news, you've heard of all the nerds camping out in front of electronics stores, like they were waiting in line for Star Wars, Episode 7: The Quest for More Money. And then, when the countdown to the PS3's launch expired, it was a widespread nerd riot. It was like hundreds of fraternities nationwide decided to stage much more violent reenactments of the soccer mom frenzies over Cabbage Patch Kids and Tickle Me Elmo. People were beating each other senseless, robbing one other at gunpoint, getting into mild skirmishes with the police.

And for what? An overpriced toy. That's what it is. The PS3 could make me sandwiches and massage my feet, and I'd still think that the $600 price tag is too much. And to tell you the truth, I don't see what the big deal is. I never owned the original PlayStation, and I still don't own a PS2. And because of that, I don't really feel the need to run out and acquire a PS3. And although I have quite a bit of interest in the X-Box 360, my main focus of the new generation of game consoles has been on the new Nintendo Wii. I was born and raised as a Nintendo fanboy, and I always get really excited when they release a new console. Sure, I've had to miss out on almost every awesome game to come out in the last five years because they weren't made for the Gamecube, but I'm still proud of my little purple lunch box. And while the Wii does have a goofy (albeit fun to say) name, the concept for the controller is brilliant, and games like Red Steel and The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess look amazing. Plus the Wii only costs 250 bucks, which means that it's already got one up on the PS3.

But going back to my original point, I don't get what the big deal about the PS3 is. I don't see why all these overzealous morons have to stomp one another into the ground for a $600 toy. It was pretty well known that Sony's initial shipment was going to be a little on the light side, but these nerds probably didn't hear it because they were creating little Gypsy camps in front of Best Buys and Wal-Marts around the country. I like video games as much as the next guy, but I can live with not being first in line to buy the newest console. Yes, I'd like a Wii and an X-Box 360, but I don't really have the desire to get trampled by an unruly mob or get turned into the new Reginald Denny because somebody missed out on their shot to get a PS3. I mean, this is insanity. Pure, unbridled insanity. And it's stupid.

It's not like Sony made the PS3 an ultra-limited edition item. I guess Sony wanted to see how many raging fools would line up for it on the first day. Maybe it was some kind of psychological study or social experiment or something like that. But this madness is both mind-boggling and insulting to me as a gamer. I don't have to run out and crack somebody with a brick so I can get the latest and greatest in video game technology as soon as it's available. Violence like this makes me embarrassed to be both a nerd and a gamer. Oh, I'll still identify myself as such, but my nerd badge of honor has lost a little of its luster.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to wrap this up so I can go shoot somebody and steal the video games he just bought.