A Long, Hooterific Weekend

Crimeny, what a long weekend it's been. It's one of those weekends where everything feels like it's starting to blend together, so I'm going to try and make heads or tails of it. So hang on, because sorting it all out might be a bumpy ride.

The whole thing started Saturday night. My Anderson County crew called about me and Moses joining them in getting something to eat, then seeing Happy Feet. But since the movie would have started at 9:30 and we wouldn't have left Pizza Hut until it was well underway, we decided to just go over to Movie Gallery and rent something instead. Moses and I let the girls pick out the movies, and we ended up with Robert Englund's Heartstopper, and some random direct-to-video zombie movie titled Bone Sickness. And to be brutally honest, they could have done better.

We fired up Bone Sickness first, unfortunately. It's just bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. We didn't even bother watch it to the end. And the sad part is, even when you think it's over, it keeps going. Bone Sickness may have gone straight to video, but it should have gone straight to a landfill. I'd punch the movie in the face if I could. My list of complaints barely scratches the surface of what's wrong with this movie. The movie looks like it was filmed with a camcorder, the script was simultaneously nonsensical and illogical, the cast made second-rate sixth grade drama class productions look good, and the effects weren't all that believable. There were one or two cool moments, but for the most part, the gore looked like it was watered-down tomato juice. The movie apparently only cost 3,000 bucks to make, but they must have spent that on a cheap camera and some editing equipment, because it didn't go into the effects or production value. The only kind of entertainment that could be derived from Bone Sickness is if you do MST3K-style jokes during the movie, and it's only worth seeing if you like watching bad homemade movies. I don't want to say that I could do any better, but I don't think I could do any worse.

We didn't get around to watching Heartstopper, unfortunately. It couldn't have been as bad as Bone Sickness. Maybe I'll put it on Netflix sometime.

Anyway, Tiffany left at midnight, and me, Moses, and Jennifer hung out for a while before we got to talking about plans we'd made for Sunday evening. I forget how one thing led to another, but Jennifer invited us to go to church with her. I didn't have any problems with it and Jason didn't either, so he called in sick to work so he could be free to go. Since it was around 2:30 in the morning by the time we decided this, and we'd only get four or five hours of sleep after driving back and forth between Lawrenceburg and home, Jennifer just let us crash at her place for the night.

So we got a few hours of sleep before heading off to church. I hadn't been in years, but it was an experience that I honestly enjoyed. I can't complain. We caught a bit of lunch at McDonald's afterwards, dropped Jennifer off at work, then Moses and I decided to go hang out at her place for a few hours. There wasn't a whole lot to do in an empty house at 2:30 on a Sunday afternoon, but we managed to entertain ourselves with some video games and a little television.

We picked Jennifer up at 6:30, then headed up to Lexington for a wee bit of an adventure. WWE was running their annual "Survivor Series" pay-per-view event last night, so we decided to go see it for free at the Hooters in Lexington. The place was packed when we got there, and we were told that we'd be waiting for at least an hour before we were seated. But we only had to wait for a few minutes thanks to Jennifer's father. He's apparently to Hooters what George Wendt was to Cheers, so all she had to do is say that she was his daughter and that we were with him. They took us right to his table and seated us. I'm going to have to remember that next time.

This was the first time I'd been to this particular establishment, and it's definitely what they say it is. Not that I have a problem with that. And I know it's part of their usual color scheme, but I'm surprised at just how orange the place is. I thought I'd seen a lot of the color orange in my life, but I was quite mistaken. It's borderline excessive. The whole thing just poses the question, "How much more orange could Hooters get?" And the answer is none. None more orange.

But I'd be lying if I said I didn't have an absolute blast. The show was great, the food was great, and the atmosphere was great. Every patron in the place was into the show, but what was especially neat was how the waitresses got into it show too. I saw two waitresses wearing homemade title belts, a few behind the bar shouted "we're ready!" in response to DX's pre-match "are you ready?" spiel, and they did something especially cool during The Undertaker's entrance. I'm sure the wrestling fans who read this are familiar with how the lights go dark as he enters the arena, then turn back on as he stands on the ring steps. Someone at the restaurant thought it would be funny to play along, turning nearly all the lights in the place off and on in time with the entrance. It was a fun little Rocky Horror type of thing that I thought was a really cool idea.

We got out of there after the show ended, and I would definitely do this again if given the opportunity. I had way too much fun. I wouldn't mind going back next week for the ECW pay-per-view, but I think this will be more of a "once in a while" thing as opposed to something we do on a regular basis. But like I said, if the chance ever came up, I'd take it.

Like I said, we left after the show, then dropped Jennifer off at her house before heading back to good ol' Willisburg. It took us twice as long as usual to get home, thanks to a nasty wreck that closed up part of the BG Parkway. We sat there for an hour before we got moving. And after my 29-hour adventure, I think I'm going to take it easy and relax this week. Do you blame me?