Acting Professional, Like Mr. Pink

I decided to go ahead and give Resident Evil 4's Professional setting a go last night, and I'm blown away by how tough it is. So let's recap what's happened during my latest tour of duty.

I made it through the first area and the village, and got through it better than I expected since never once did Chainsaw Charlie show up. I tried playing it safe, but due to the freakish masses, I ended up with health levels in the orange. That came back to get me in the farm area that was next, since I died twice via hatchets to the noggin. But I made it through, only to get squashed by Indiana Jones's giant rolling boulder.

Second time around, I made it past the giant bowling alley and found the tied-up Luis to end Chapter 1-1. I got wiped out a few times in Bridgetown and the warehouse that followed, but I got past and made it to the chief's house. I ran into Chainsaw Charlie and some of his buddies in the chief's backyard, but one or two grenades got me around them and back into the village. Ran through there and through the passage to the church graveyard, then barely made it through the swamp before getting to the lake. Rather than take on Nessie, I hit the conveniently-placed typewriter and called it a day.

I picked the game back up this afternoon, ready to conquer the world. I left off in a rough patch, as I immediately had to fight Nessie if I wanted to progress in the game. But I had nothing to worry about, since I managed to kill Nessie in one attempt. Go me. But it wasn't a flawless victory, since Nessie managed to knock my health down to yellow. I headed along anyway, through the reservoir with ease. After that was a tough, tough battle: Leon S. Kennedy vs. El Gigante #1 in a no-holds-barred throwdown. And trust me, dear readers, it was a war of attrition. Both of us took some hard shots, with me getting knocked down and out more than once. But I'm resilient, so I came back and I dropped El Gigante like a bad habit.

My health had taken quite a knock, but without any aids, I was stuck that way. I had to forge ahead anyway. I'm a trooper, I figured I could make it. Three helldogs were waiting for me in front of the church, and while I always managed to take out the first one with my rifle, the other two always ripped my poor little throat out. After one particular incident that led to my grisly demise at the hands of these friendly canines, I went and did something really stupid. I accidentally hit "no" without thinking at the "Will You Continue?" screen. And dummy me hadn't saved the game after killing El Gigante. Way to go, Matt, you fool.

My last save point was just before the fight with El Gigante, so I had to go back and fight him again. He smacked me around a few times, but I managed to knock him out after another hardfought brawl. It was back to the helldogs, and after I took out the first one, I formulated a plan. Instead of standing my ground and fighting them, I decided to avoid them at all costs. I bolted for the church door, and the plan succeded. Makes me wish I'd come up with that plan to begin with.

So I'm in the church, I figure out the light puzzle pretty quick, I free Ashley, and we make a daring escape through the church window. Got through the freaks in the cemetary without a scratch, then headed straight to the village. I was satisfied with my progress, so I hit the typewriter near Trader Joe's post, then called it an evening.

This is so much harder than what I'd been used to. It seems like the only ammo I'm finding enough of is the weak handgun bullets, which only does me favors if I want to shoot a freak in the kneecaps before I dropkick him in the head. It seems like the different freaks and monsters do a lot more damage too. The Professional setting isn't the hard mode for nothing. I have no doubts that I can beat the game, but it's going to be a long, long road to victory. And trust me, victory will be mine.

Oh yes, it will be mine.