Semper Fi

Myself and Moses caught The Marine late this afternoon. We'd meant to catch it last night with our Anderson County crew, but due to extenuating circimstances, we missed the last showing. But no matter, Moses and I saw it today, and boy, is it a mess.

I went in not expecting much, and while it was fun, I repeatedly had my intelligence insulted by the movie. The lead character, played by pro wrestler John Cena, narrowly avoids being killed in numerous explosions despite the fact that a normal person would have been burned to a crisp. A normal person would have been completely and thoroughly broken by the end of the movie, but Cena gets through without so much as a scratch. And his character's wife, played by Kelly Carlson from that TV show Nip/Tuck, is repeatedly smacked upside the head, yet apparently never has any bruises or a busted nose or a concussion or anything that would be evidence of being regularly struck in the face. Are we to believe that these characters can survive all this punishment without recieving any visible injuries?

There is such a thing as suspension of disbelief, and The Marine stomps all over it. Characters show no battle damage, the villains shoot like they recieved weapons training from the A-Team, and the insane twist that concludes the second act just makes the movie really tough to believe. (Plus the twist is immediately negated anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter). The acting is so-so, with Robert Patrick and his henchmen playing their roles with tongues planted firmly in cheek. Patrick's facial expression when one of his henchmen compares Cena to the Terminator is priceless. Carlson accomplishes nothing aside from standing around looking cute, and I would advise Cena not to quit his day job. I just don't see him following in The Rock's footsteps and becoming the next big action star.

The Marine is a big, dumb, violent action movie in the vein of Commando. There's fighting and guns and explosions, and anyone who enjoys that sort of thing will like this. Personally, I'll give The Marine a thumbs in the middle with two and a half stars. It could have been a whole lot better, I'll say that much.