Sutton Watches Smallville

So as mentioned earlier, here I am with my thoughts on tonight's episode of Smallville. I'm watching the episode as I type this, so that should answer any questions you may have.

• It's about freaking time Clark told Lana his secret. She looks like she's taking the news well. I mean, in a town like Smallville, with all the Kryptonite-fueled mutants running around, the idea of your boyfriend being an alien with superhuman powers probably won't be all that shocking after all. But I bet she half-expected aliens to look like E.T. or something from Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
• Aw, Clark made a diamond ring out of a lump of coal. How saccharine.
• Clark needs to go buy some new clothes. Yeah, Superman wears red and blue, I get it.
• Hah, Lois made a Crying Game reference. And then Chloe goes and makes a "out of the closet" reference. Geez, I thought Batman and Robin were the ones that got all the gay jokes.
• Aw, poor unloved Chloe. Clark stabs her in the heart again with that "I proposed to Lana" bombshell. When, Lord, when? When's it gonna be Chloe's time?!
• Yay, Clark and Lana are getting married. Until they break up, and Clark moves to Metropolis and hooks up with Lois.
• Way to go, Bo. Congratulations on the Senate win. Too bad you're gonna die.
• Along with Clark's confession, it's also about time we got Evil Lex. Michael Rosenbaum is the best part of the show, and him being evil (even if it's just him being a mean drunk) could make it better.
• Loeb Bridge? Awfully nice for the writers to name something after Jeph Loeb like that.
• Oh snap! Lana just got ran over by a school bus! And Lex sees Clark's super-speed too. Wow. Lana looks like she got cut up something good too. So much for the whole pretty perfection that is Lana Lang.
• "If I hadn't told her the truth, she'd still be alive!" See, Clark? Her death is all your fault. You said it yourself. I hope you're happy, Super-goon.
• And now he goes back to the beginning of the episode thanks to grabbing a crystal in the Fortress? Is it just me, or would it have been cooler if he'd made Earth spin backwards like in the first Superman movie?
• Clark, you jerk. Haven't you learned anything? Lying to Lana accomplishes nothing. Then again, telling her the truth got her smooshed by a bus, so what do I know.
• Hah, Chloe totally made a reference to spinning the world backwards. Just as soon as I make a joke about it, they do to. Get out of my head, Smallville!
• You know, thinking about it, if they did an entire episode set up like Groundhog Day, it'd be awesome. Maybe they could expand on this episode and do a cross between Groundhog Day and Final Destination. Where instead of killing himself over and over like Bill Murray, he could keep trying to stop Lana from getting killed, and she keeps dying in different ways every time.
• Great, and now Lois is dead. I'd been hoping that they'd have Chloe use Lois's name as a pseudonym or somesuch, so Clark could shack up with her while still being with Lois Lane. And now maybe it could come true?
• There is something so wrong about Lex kissing Lana.
• Ah, fate. There's just no getting around it.
• Aw, Lois is alive after all. There goes my "Chloe is the Lois that Clark loves" thoery. And Clark stops the bus from squashing Lana, too. Poor Chloe will never find love.
• Oh snap, I think Lionel knows Clark isn't human.
• And now Bo Kent's dead. Way to go, Clark. Thanks to your selfishness regarding Lana, you condemned your father to death. I hope killing him was fun, Super-jerk. I also hope someone drops a great big bomb full of Kryptonite on your house.

What a depressing, upsetting episode. They went back on the whole "Lana learns Clark's secret" promise (wasting five years of buildup in the process) and they killed one of my favorite characters, and it's all Clark's fault. I hope that in next week's episode, he realizes that. Because it is.