Sharks And Dukes

A new month, two new movies to do mini-reviews of. Trust me, folks, there's not much more going on outside of this.

Open Water: Thank you, Netflix. Shot with almost no crew and only $130,000 to spend, this tale of two scuba divers stranded in the middle of the ocean is as minimalist as they come. The DV cameras they use make it seem like a home video, especially when you remember that they used real sharks to swarm around the actors because they couldn't afford to create CGI or animatronic sharks. The movie is relatively light on action until the final 20 minutes, but it's actually pretty fast-paced. But if you don't want to see two people floating around for most of the movie, you could probably just skip to the end.

Speaking of the end, the movie has one of the most daring endings I've seen in a long time. Without giving it away, the end of the movie is just so bleak, but it's still acceptable. It's not one of those endings that makes no sense and ruins the whole movie, it's actually one of only two possible endings they could have done. With the two choices, I like the one they went with. Since the movie is quite similar to Cube and The Blair Witch Project in terms of execution, those who were left underwhelmed by those movies probably won't like Open Water. The dialogue is silly at times (though I really liked the "I wanted to go skiing!" line), and the acting can be hammy, but in the scope of things, the movie is actually pretty good. Three and a half stars for Open Water, and I'd recommend giving it a chance.

The Dukes of Hazzard: I know, I know. The movie has been getting nothing but bad reviews. But you know what? I liked it. While the movie might not be built on the strongest of foundations, I was still entertained. I go to movies to be entertained, so in that aspect, I'll call The Dukes of Hazzard a success in my eyes. Screw the naysayers, I know what I like. The script could have used some polishing, and the movie could benefit from two or three casting changes (primarily those playing Boss Hogg and Daisy Duke), but I had fun watching it. And really, isn't that all that matters? Johnny Knoxville and Seann William Scott were funny, the chase scenes are exciting, and the soundtrack is awesome (outside of Jessica Simpson's embarassingly bad cover of "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'"). Only fans of the show will really enjoy it, but despite its shortcomings, I'll give it a thumbs-up. Three stars.

And holy crap, the theater was packed with a capital P on Friday night. Me and my buddy Mo were intending to see the 7:30 showing of The Dukes of Hazzard, but just our luck, it sold out. But lucky us, we got in for the 10:00 show (which was equally packed). The place was absolutely full of teenybopper idiots with an average age of 14. The place looked like an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog had thrown up on a junior high field trip, and they all had cell phones. What does a 14-year-old kid need a cell phone for? Who are they gonna call? Barney the purple dinosaur? Big Bird? The Power Rangers? I might be out of touch with the youth of America (which is sad, since I'm only 23), but come on. And it was so weird, because I saw 3000 kids, five parents. How do they get there? Walk? Hitchhike? Do they have those transporters from Star Trek?

Geez, I'm 23, and I've turned into Mr. Wilson from Dennis The Menace. I guess it's time to pack it in.