Manos: Worst Movie Ever

Hit a deer last night. Went into shock. That's really all I can say before I start freaking out again. It was a very, very bad experience that I never want to relive. If you're an animal lover and you hit a deer with your vehicle, just keep on driving. Don't get out of the car and look at it. I did, and you don't want to see what I saw. That messed me up in the head.

Via the wonder that is Netflix, I finally got to see the classic Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode "Manos: The Hands of Fate." Generally considered to be one of the worst movies ever made (which translates into one of the funniest MST3K episodes ever), the DVD I received from Netflix unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately?) didn't have Manos without the MST3K treatment. There's two Manos DVDs out there: one with and without the MST3K version, and one with only the MST3K version. I got the one with just the MST3K version. No big deal, it's not worth worrying about. But even in watching Manos with the joke-cracking silhouettes, it's still painfully obvious how awful the movie is. And the awful quality of the movie just makes the show that much funnier. So here's my mini-review...

Manos: The Hands of Fate = Bad.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 watching Manos: The Hands of Fate = Good.

How's that for a review, huh?

Minor swag update: the DVD of Godzilla, starring Matthew Broderick. It's not the best Godzilla movie out there, but I think it's a fun movie if you look at it as a movie starring a random atomic dinosaur instead of Godzilla. Anyway, I also scored the Ready To Rumble DVD last month, and I still think WWE should run one of those three-tiered cage matches sometime. If it wasn't for the Elimination Chamber (and the fact that Ready To Rumble was a tremendous failure), I could see it happening. They could do a repeat of "War Games 2000" from an episode of Nitro (the one from September 4, 2000). Hang a title belt from the roof of an arena, stick a bunch of guys in the ring, and the first one make it out of the bottom cage with the belt wins. Maybe it could become to Smackdown what the Elimination Chamber has become to Raw. I'm sure the triple cage is collecting dust in some old WCW storage warehouse in Atlanta, and WWE should break it out sometime. They could even break out the "Doomsday Match" setup from the Uncensored '96 pay-per-view event, where they had a bunch of normally-sized cages stacked on top of each other and stuck ten guys in it. The doomsday match sucked, but it was still a neat concept. And I'm still waiting for WWE to book a War Games match...

That Starburst commercial where they parody Lionel Richie's "Hello" music video is... well, how do I put this... disturbing. If I made a model of some girl's head out of chewy fruit-flavored candy and bit its nose off, I'd be thrown into a straightjacket and hauled away by men in white suits.

Nothing else to say, Sutton out.