Happy Belated Birthday To Me

Hello, and welcome to Fantasy Island! I'll be your host, Ricardo Montalban.

So anyway, my birthday was this past Thursday. How old am I? I'm twenty-one, thank you for asking. I got plenty of neato swag over the last week or so to celebrate it: the House of 1000 Corpses soundtrack, the five "CKY" DVD's (which is full of skateboarding, skits, music videos, and Jackass-style stunts), the video game "Luigi's Mansion," and the Nightmare on Elm Street box set. Fun times were to be had.

I also went to see Bruce Almighty on Saturday with Willy (who I hadn't seen in months) and Mo. The movie's about Bruce Nolan (played by Jim Carrey), who blames God (played by the always awesome Morgan Freeman) for everything bad in his life. So what does God do? He gives Bruce all of his powers, to see if he can do better. I thought the movie really spoke levels about how we as people treat our Creator. We take Him for granted, and often think we can do His job better. The movie proves that He ultimately knows what we're doing better than we do, because after all, He's the reason we're here to begin with. But Bruce Almighty gets my Grade-A Seal of Approval.

Have fun reading? I had fun typing. See ya.

I Know Kung Fu

Okay, so I went to see The Matrix: Reloaded tonight. Egads. When there wasn't a fight, it was all Lawrence Fishburne talking. I guess they were trying for some exposition for Revolutions, but Cowboy Curtis just talks and talks and talks, and then he's got a wicked fight scene with a sword and an 18-wheeler and then he talks some more.

Keanu Reeves is awesome. He fights a bazillion guys at once and they're all like "grrr" and Keanu's all like "I know kung fu" and they're all like "so do we" and he's all like "just bring it." So they bring it and he reigns down with great vengeance and furious anger and they're all like "aw crap" and Keanu's all like "hahaha, losers." What made me sad, however, was that I think I almost saw Keanu's weiner in one scene. It's one thing to have Ted "Theodore" Logan in a movie, but I don't want to see his Wyld Stallyn.

I know they've got to set up the third movie in November, but all the exposition crap in this one sucked. I didn't go into this movie wanting a story, I wanted kung fu and explosions. A whole lot of kung fu and explosions. No story, no purpose, just lots of awesome fight scenes. There were awesome fight scenes and cool explosions, but it just dragged in some scenes. Oh well, I guess Revolutions will make up for all the boring exposition. My final grade.... a three out of five for now, but it could change once The Matrix: Revolutions is released.

Well, I guess that's all for now. I'll catch you readers later.

The "X" Is For "Xtra Awesome"

Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!

Went to see X2 for the second time, and I approve. Me, Mo, and his cousin B.J. went to see it when it opened last Friday, but we had to sit in the very front row of the theater right in front of the screen, so it demanded a second viewing. It's probably my favorite comic book movie since the first Batman movie way back in 1989. The acting is great; every actor plays their role to near-perfection. I can't think of anything else to say other than you should go see it now, but watch the first X-Men movie beforehand, to be safe.

That's all for now. See ya later.